Week 30: Sage “New-Mom” Advice from a Friend

mom cleaning toiletI can explain the toilet picture that accompanies this post, I promise. Let me back up. This week I went to lunch with a friend. Molly is not just any friend; she has the distinction of being my sole-close-mom-friend raising MULTIPLES. Molly is the proud and loving mother of triplets, one boy and two girls now six years old. With our twins just 2 months from arriving, coupled with my propensity for seeking advice from other moms (can you say “MyMommyManual”?!?!) you can imagine how eager I was to pick her brain over salad and some tasty St. Louis style toasted raviolis.

About ten minutes into lunch it became clear to me – I needed to take notes. Too many pearls of wisdom were falling from her mouth to risk missing even one, so out came my iphone with it’s “notes” application and this is what I captured:

  1. No One Gets in the Door Who Wouldn’t Scrub Your Toilet: This was by far my favorite. She told me how starting just days after the triplets came home, so many people wanted to come over and see them. My friend would have them in and instead of being assisted by the visitors, she’d proceed to play hostess. This lasted all of 5 seconds before her husband and mother clamped down and began enforcing advice the couple had been given before leaving the hospital from their doctor, “No one gets in your door who wouldn’t scrub your toilet.” My friend’s mom set up camp by the front door and headed off well meaning visitors, accepting plates of food and best wishes with a kind but firm, “Thanks so much and I’ll let Molly know you came by!”
  2. Let Friends, Family and Visitors HELP: Everyone truly wants to be helpful, molly explained. These people love us. They know things are crazy with a newborn in the house (much less two or three) and if given the opportunity, will surely lend a hand. So give them the opportunity. Molly suggested I set up a calendar by the front door so that anyone that comes by to visit can sign up for a few hours of baby ricking/holding, helping with light chores around the house or a night to bring dinner. She said it took her weeks to learn this, but that by organizing when people would be helping and who was doing what, she felt so much more supported.
  3. The Low Down on Wipes: Molly suggested I use wipes that pull out of the dispenser one at a time so as to be able to accomplish this feat one-handed-ly. Costco’s Kirkland line were her wipes of choice. She HATED the type that came one folded into the next and took an act of God (or two hands) to be pulled free. It is for this reason she applauded my recent nursery room purchase of a lamp with a foot switch, requiring NO HANDS to go on/off as I settle into my big, overstuffed nursery room chair with our twins (and nary a hand in sight.)
  4. The Low Down on Diapers: Molly said if I decide to go the reusable diaper route with multiples, I need to hire a service. Period. End of story. She also told me as far as disposable diapers go, she loved the Waldry brand which she used for daytime diapering only as they were less reliable at night (a move she said that saved them a ton of money.) Being a non-member, she even offered to pick these up for me (in quantities large enough to pamper most of the free world no doubt) whenever I needed them. She recommended I use Pampers or the like for night-time diapering because, really, who in their right mind wants to risk a diaper malfunction resulting in MORE laundry…
  5. Get Yourself an EXTRA Freezer: This tip had been on my mind months ago but somehow got moved to the back burner with more pressing baby preparations like painting, interviewing doulas, picking out car seats, etc… But it is now pinned to the top. I’ll be CraigsList.com bound in search of an extra freezer for our basement. Molly drove home how important this will be for me to be able to store the meals people will be bringing. She also coached me to stock up on ready-made meals from Sam’s Club, Trader Joe’s, Costco and the like; giving me the sense of cooking a nice meal for my family when really all I am doing is reheating. I think this tip deserves a double gold star.

So there you have it, the fruits of my lunch-date with a mom who more than survived the first few weeks and months of raising triplets. Whether you have multiples or a single baby on the way, I hope you too can pull some future sanity and maybe even a few additional winks of sleep from these tips. I know I will. Let me know if you have a tip for new moms. What worked for you? What didn’t? And if you’re expecting, what sage advice have you been given?

Thank Molly. You’re a true friend… and one I know for certain would scrub my toilets.

Related Articles:

39 Weeks : We are so BLESSED!
37 Weeks : Crystal Ball
36 Weeks : Pre-Birth ENERGY
35 Weeks : House Arrest
34 Weeks : Like “Cantaloupes”
33 Weeks : Blessingways and Birth
32 Weeks : Other New Moms & Icing
31 Weeks : Newborn Baby Checklists
29 Weeks : Placental Encapsulation
28 Weeks : Pregnancy Calf Cramps to Wake the DEAD
27 Weeks : Holiday Maternity Fashion Tips
26 Weeks : The Nursery
25 Weeks : Back to Baby Names
24 Weeks : Cord Blood
23 Weeks : Baby Fat
22 Weeks : Baby(s) Moving! Time for Belly Massage
21 Weeks : Flu Bug
20 Weeks : Parents As Teachers
19 Weeks : Sleep
18 Weeks : Breastfeeding
17 Weeks : Childbirth
16 Weeks : Sex of the Babies. We’re having…
15 Weeks : Baby name Game
14 Weeks : Prenatal Yoga
13 Weeks : Mindful Nesting
12 Weeks : My Changing Pregnant Body
How Spirit Moves

due logo ZenMommy’s Pregnancy Journal is published in partnership with Due Maternity, a great place for maternity clothes.  xoxo

Suzanne Tucker, aka Zen Mommy

In addition to mommying to two magical girls born in 2000 and 2003 and expecting twins in Jan of 2010, Suzanne co-owns a holistic health center with her husband Shawn in St. Louis, Missouri where she practices as a physical therapist, Certified Educator of  Infant Massage and health education teacher. Certified in a number of healing and life education approaches, Suzanne is a Co-creator of My Mommy Manual and the online parenting course, Yogi Parenting, a positive parenting approach for raising kids of all ages.


  1. this great tip just in on twitter from @pearlmattenson. she write:

    @ZenMommy new parent tip: forget multi-tasking. 1) This is the ultimate live in the moment opportunity–and 2) Sleep whenever you can!!!

  2. OK, and THESE great tips just in from Laura on my FaceBook page:

    Laura Deister
    I agree with most of this. I have to say that some people just want to come over and hold babies. This is only helpful if you intend to take a nap, otherwise tell them thanks but no thanks. You want to be the one holding the babies as much as possible and not spending your free time doing dishes. True friends will understand and realize that helping means doing laundry and cleaning and dishes.

    Also if it is still cold ad flu season don’t take them anywhere unless you have to because I know several friends of multiples whose babies caught RSV.Last thing is to make sure you have 2 swings. This helped them nap when they were fussy and I wanted to nap. Hope this helps. Feel free to ask me for anything! I do lots of laundry! I’m practically a laundry expert with 4 girls.

  3. thanks laura. feels like gear central over here. we also have 4 of those play things baby stands/plays in after 4 mo age. i never even had ONE of those with my other two… now four (two up/two down…) figure i will give away anything we are not using a few months into things. i’m so grateful to any and everyone who has lent me stuff. also have x2 pack and plays…

  4. “Sleep whenever you can” is something new mothers often hear. But when the moment arrives and mom finds herself facing that precious window of time in which she “should sleep”, for some mothers, the zzzs won’t come. My suggestion: If it is possible, during pregnancy, begin training yourself to fall asleep for “cat naps”. This may include a bedtime ritual of some kind to quiet the mind, progressive relaxation, calming aromas, counting breaths, an audio recording of a meditation or guided imagery that you like, darkness and/or a sleep mask, a white noise machine etc. According to NASA, even twenty minutes of sleep makes a big difference.

  5. Its great experience to be a mom and at this time a mom need a friend. Its very nice post I feel it from the core of my heart.

  6. Nancy, great tip. This helps with the end of pregnancy sleep issues as well… i don;t get 8 solid hrs like i once did but find i am rested even still though i am waking more… the real blessing is the ease i’ve experienced this go around falling back to sleep. brething a huge part of that. thanks for all the other ideas!!

    and P.M…. thanks for the kind words. smiles.

  7. Great blog post I feel very glad to read your informative blog post.Its very sad thanks.