When did “like a girl” become a put down?!

How old were you when these words were first hurdled at you as an insult? Were you 9? 13? I honestly can’t remember a time when I did not know “running like a girl”, “hitting like a girl” and “throwing like a girl” to be put downs.

We can change this. As the commercial above shows, there is a time (generally pre-teens/tweens) where kids know running “like a girl” means running fast  and “throwing like a girl” means throwing far.

Always just kicked off a campaign aimed at making sure “girls everywhere keep their confidence throughout puberty and beyond.” How? Simply put, “by showing them that doing it #LikeAGirl is an awesome thing.”

“In my work as a documentarian, I have witnessed the confidence crisis among girls and the negative impact of stereotypes first-hand,” said Lauren Greenfield, filmmaker and director of the #LikeAGirl video. “When the words ‘like a girl’ are used to mean something bad, it is profoundly disempowering. I am proud to partner with Always to shed light on how this simple phrase can have a significant and long-lasting impact on girls and women. I am excited to be a part of the movement to redefine ‘like a girl’ into a positive affirmation.”

Let’s be a part of this change starting today. Comment below and tell me (with pride) what amazing things can YOU do #likeagirl? How about your daughters, mothers, sisters, wives, neighbors, friends?


Join with me and other moms here. The manual is ours to write but we don’t have to write it alone! Let’s connect on twitterfacebook and pinterest


How To Be Enough

Goal Setting Exercises For Children

How To Help Your Teens With Self Confidence

How To Be Vulnerable

Posts on Mindfulness

The Day My Daughter Shaved Her Head


It was only a week ago that my 12 year old daughter first asked me, “What if I shaved my head?” to which I immediately responded, “What? Why?!?”

She replied softly, “I don’t know. I was just talking about it with my friends.”

I took a deep breathe and thought about her question for a minute before replying a second time. And though still not thinking she would actually shave her head, I began to feel the question was not as hypothetical as I’d first imagined.

“Well, if you did, you would rock it.” I said, which was received with a smile.

“Yeah,” she said, “that’s what my friend said.”

Over the next few days, the shaving the head idea picked up steam. She asked her dad. She asked more friends. And with each person she told that did not find it to be the craziest thing they’d ever heard of, the idea became more real.

“What if I shaved my head?” quickly became “When can I shave my head?” followed closely by, “Who will I give it too???” Each question brought with it a new google search. Soon she had all her answers.

She saved an inspiration photo on her ipad of a cute teen girl (not a star, just a girl) sporting a t-shirt, killer smile and a buzzed head in all it’s glory.

She found a non-profit that would not charge the child receiving her golden locks on the other end when a wig it became. She read about the organization and the medical conditions that caused children her age and younger to lose their hair. Fuel to the fire.

This. Was. Happening.

I texted my hairdresser for reassurance:

photo 26

We went to the dentist the next day and when they asked us what’s new, my daughter told them, “I’m going to shave my head.” I loved the way they received this news. “It’s only hair!” and “It grows back” and most encouraging of all, these words from the the office manager, “Good for you! Will you send us pictures?!?!” I could see my daughter’s confidence growing.

Once home her google searches still read “donate hair” and “buzz haircut girl” while mine still read “girl pixie haircut.” Evidence of my resistance filled my iphone camera, pictures of longish short hair cuts for girls. I told myself they were for “just in case she gets half way in there and changes her mind…” but they weren’t. They were for me. “Well hey, look at this one of Gwyneth Paltrow with the cute little bobby pins holding back easily five inch long front hair locks. This would look nice.”

Screen shot 2013-05-01 at 4.23.58 PM

The day after we’d made the hair appointment, I panicked. Had I been doing my job? What if as “mom” I was supposed to be the one resisting the idea? What if moments after her hair was cut into two 12 inch ponies wrapped in rubber band after rubber band, she looked at me, her eyes filled with disappointment? Disappointment from a decision she’d made without me throwing detours or nary even a road bump in it’s way?

The next day we were alone, driving in the car. Reilly was talking about her future buzz which I seized as an opportunity to fulfill my maternal obligation to offer her pause. I asked her, gently, “What if you don’t like it??? What do you want me to say to you if you cry afterwards?”

To this my daughter, without getting defensive or taking this to mean I didn’t believe in her, answered “Just remind me that it doesn’t matter what I look like. Remind me I helped someone.”

I smiled.

“Okay, sweet girl. But that’s not going to happen, is it?” I thought.

I grabbed for her words, saying them over and over in my head, so I would remember them.

“It doesn’t matter what I look like…”

My daughter knows what is important and what is not, I thought.

The next day, she fearlessly sat in the barber chair with a smile spread ear to ear as long clumps of hair left her head, only stopping to furrow her eyes and scowl at me, now and again for taking too many pictures.

My kids have always taught me plenty, but this time, I felt like I was getting a reminder of not only what is important in this life, but what gives it meaning.

                  “I helped someone.”

phonto 4


When we follow our bliss, anything is possible. I hope you walk with me and other moms here, sharing the stories of our lives, because motherhood is better when we are holding hands. 

Related Posts:

How To Be Enough

How To Be Vulnerable

Listen To Your Mother: St. Louis



How to Bridge the New Generation Gap

Okay, moms… I hate to break it to you of the MTV generation, you are NOT cool anymore! Being a GenExer myself, I’m mostly okay with that… and the fact that the baton is being passed to the new new princes and princesses of cool!

Embarassingly enough, I am finding myself saying things like, “When I was a kid…” Ugh! Ya! And just this weekend, my 8 year old whined at me, “You just don’t understand what it’s like to be a kid!!!!”

Okay, so I’ve enlisted someone who does… Vanessa Van Petten, Youthologist at www.RadicalParenting.com… parenting from the teens perspective. Tell us, Vanessa, what is the difference between Gen X and Gen Y/Z?! What is it  like to be a kid in the digital age?
[Read more…]

How to Do the Homework Hokey Pokey

No animals were harmed in the making of this film.

Those are the last words I recall before falling asleep. I stayed up way past my bedtime while watching a DVD of the cult classic: The Doberman Gang. And, that was after completing an impressive heap of homework—not mine—my son’s.teens_homework

Motherly worries made it difficult to sleep after what felt like a tag-team wrestling match over homework. How can we have a child who will do everything in his power to avoid doing homework when both his father and I were the type of kids who had near panic attacks if we slipped up on just one assignment? [Read more…]

How to Talk to Your Teen Girls About… Boys

Expert Mommy, Carrie Silver-Stock shares her tips on how to talk about boys with your teen girls. Carrie is a licensed social worker with years of experience working with teen girls and she is the author of the book, Secrets Girls Keep.

Have you successfully had conversations with your daughters about their “crushes” and dating?

[Read more…]

How Can You Tell If Your Child Needs Braces?

Good question. It seems like almost everyone gets braces these days. In my conversation with Dr. Jackie Demko, she confirmed that 80% of the U.S. population does indeed get them. BUT she provides a really great perspective on whether this is something your child NEEDS!

Does your child wear braces? What tipped you off the he/she needed them? Leave a comment with your story!

[Read more…]

How To Talk About Sex & Stay Sane

I never thought to tell my toddlers not to put a big magnet against the TV screen. The green and purple spot on the TV screen is a permanent reminder of the warning that I never gave. beesThey are now 11, 12 and 13 years old. The harm they could do or have happen to them has ramped up remarkably. I feel that I’ve entered an awkward stage right along with them.  I’m fretting about how to continue to talk with them about puberty and sex.

[Read more…]

How to Talk About Sex

… with your kids! The birds and the bees is a subject that makes most of my girlfriends squirm. It’s inevitable that the subject of how to approach the subject of sex comes up. This very often leads to hilarious accounts of how they have chosen to tackle it.

“Mom, I know how the doctor takes the baby out of you but… how does he put it in there?”

“Mom, is it true that babies are made by rubbing?”

“Yes. The stork comes.”

[Read more…]

Zen Mommy Minute: Share Yourself

This week’s Zen Mommy Minute is to share something you are passionate about with your kids. What did you used to LOVE to do before kids? Have you done this with the kids lately? Whatever it is, your child will love doing this activity with you because it’s something that YOU love… and you are sharing a core part of yourself with them. [Read more…]

Zen Mommy Minute: Connectedness is VITAL for Kids

The research study I mention in this video above proves what we moms know in our hearts… that  a sense of connectedness is vital if our kids are going to grow up “happy”. When kids feel connected (at home and at school) they are protected from: [Read more…]