The Days Are Long But The Years Are Short

 

 

To have this simple truth take hold of you somewhere deep inside your soul when your children are still small is the greatest wish I could wish for you.

This moment. This hard moment. This perfect moment. This is it.

Today, just for one minute, make an intentional effort to see the world around you through the eyes of your child. They see so much. They have so much to teach us.

xo

days long years short

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When we tune in and trust, everything is possible. I hope you’ll walk with me and other moms here because mommy-hood is BETTER when we’re holding hands. Let’s connect, here and on twitterfacebook and pinterest too. The manual is ours to write but we don’t have to write it alone. xo

 

 

There Are No Words

What does this say to you?

For me it is the wordless definition of connection. A sweet, sweet moment (I’d go so far as to say a sacred moment) of acceptance, love and peace.

This blissful state is the same space I see babes of all ages (especially newborns) moving into when they receive massage from their moms and dads. Babes, basking in the love held in a simple, shared present  moment. Love held in stillness and in touch.

Giving and receiving. Being. Connection.

xo

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When we follow our bliss, tune in and trust, anything and everything is possible. I hope you walk with me and other moms here because everything is BETTER when we are holding hands. Let’s share on twitterfacebook and pinterest too because the manual is ours to write but we don’t have to write it alone!!!

A Mother’s Bedtime Poem

Hadley bedtime poem

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When we follow our bliss, anything is possible. I hope you walk with me and other moms here, sharing the stories of our lives, because motherhood (and life) is better when we hold hands.

A Curvy Road

The beginning of my third decade on Earth brought with it our first child and there began my walk on the spiritual path of motherhood.

How to sum up this walk???

For me it’s been a spiritual practice in many things, but forced to name just three they would be acceptance, self-love and intuition.

Acceptance.

Ever the fighter for control and/or having things go the way I’d like them to go, Spirit wisely threw me quite a few curve balls in my late thirties. I’d sum up the spiritual exercise of early motherhood and later, living through five miscarriages in a single word. Acceptance.

Being a first time mom and feeling the grasp I thought I had so firmly on life slipping through my hands. Living through loss after loss, accepting I had no control over whether, with each new baby, I would carry them full term or not. The experiences combined, motherhood and miscarriage… better than a college credit course in teaching me to allow.

I look at our experiences with loss now differently than I did while they were occurring. I still feel the sting of these experiences but can also appreciate them for what they brought me. As I see it life forced my hand, demanding of me to learn to be with what is rather than how I’d have it.

Non-attachment. Not an easy lesson, but a valuable one and I am still a student of (big-time). Life as “mom” gives me new lessons in sweet-surrender on a daily basis. Holding on to letting go. It’s become my mommy mantra.

Softening into life rather than fighting it when inevitably it doesn’t seem to be going my way. This is the lesson acceptance has offered and it’s been immeasurably helpful in parenting, especially of late now that we have two tween daughters and twin 2.5 year olds.

Two’s and tween/teens. All you READ about parenting these ages has to do with conflict and power struggles. The terrible two’s. The dreaded teen years. Thankfully we are not there (knocks on wood.) I think the resistance that might exist between us has been lessened by a great extent thanks to the lessons life delivered to me (be it with me kicking and screaming every step of the way) in learning to allow. The practice of pausing and allowing before moving head first into responding and reacting; invaluable of late for me. Thank you Spirit.

Self-love.

I look at self-love as coming to better know and love myself for the person I am while forgiving myself for the person I am not (a rather long list).

How can I love another if I don’t first love me? Good question, and one I found motherhood brought into sharp focus for me.

When life feels hard I breathe in “I love myself” and breathe out “I am enough.” This is my other mommy mantra, the one I reach too when life is feeling hard… and it’s been healing beyond measure.

Being enough. Life brings me many opportunities for me to practice self-love, breathing into my mistakes and letting go of the “not-enough” when inevitably I find myself judging (myself and those I love… that’s who we judge most harshly though, isn’t it?) or otherwise resisting life. This is a daily (if not moment by moment) practice for me and probably will be for the rest of my life. It is in modeling self-love and forgiveness I teach my children the most precious thing I have to teach them about love, namely, that I am love. That they are love.

That love is a noun… not a verb.

Intuition.

I see intuition as tuning in and trusting myself and the inner knowing I pose (we each possess) to guide me. I believe this inner knowing to be Spirit and I look to this place inside myself for very real guidance on matters large and small, in parenting and in life.

So many ways to go. Do I do this? Say this? Go this way or that? How do I manage this crisis, this conversation, this decision, thought, emotion? I would be LOST in parenting were it not for the practice of pausing. Were it not for the guidance I receive when I stop to ask,  listen and receive. All that is left for me then is to follow. Thank you Spirit.

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Suzanne Tucker aka Zen Mommy hopes if you liked this article you will subscribe and/or join other mindful mamas here. To keep the lights on, Suzanne runs a holistic health center in St. Louis, Missouri with her husband Shawn. She is passionate about the connection we are and to that end offers Infant Massage, parent coaching and YogaParenting. If she can be a support to you on your spiritual path of motherhood, please reach out to her today!

How to Go Deep and Find Your SELF

We can travel wide, but that of itself will not fundamentally change us. For our lives to change, we must travel deep.
~ Marianne Williamson

Last week, I wrote about being out of balance. I hear this from so many of my mommy friends, especially those of us who feel conflicted about our careers and families. But how do we regain a sense of equilibrium in a modern world that’s going well over our personal speed limits.

(Insert ironic chuckle here considering the Universe confiscated my car for at least two weeks!)

It seems I’m being called to walk the talk, to teach as I learn, as it were. I still believe that the answers lie within — where our Higher Purpose is reflected in the stillness. Inside, we are most connected to our God. But getting there requires sloughing off layers and layers or crap — literally and figuratively. I haven’t had the fortitude “to go deep” and look at all the demons along the way, to tune out all the noise, to sift through all the baggage that I’ve carried with me to this point.

Dramatic? Okay, it sounds heavy but practically speaking, that means that as the end of 2010 approaches, I’m doing inventory and tossing out everything that no longer serves me —  in my house, in my body, and in my heart. As I told my kids this weekend, “It’s time to make room for all the new gifts you’ll be getting soon.”

Me too.

As Kelli so eloquently put it, “I think that God blesses us with gifts and talents that can and should be used to His glory.” So as they tackle the playroom. I’m attacking the pantry. Who’s with me?!

What do I expect to gain by cleaning out the crusty pantry of my soul? [Read more…]

Mindful Parents, Mindful Kids

What does “mindfulness” mean? As developmental psychologist, Dr. Sophia Pierroutsakos explains, it is a conscious relationship that we have with all the people and circumstances happening around us.

How can mindfulness help us and our children? We produced an hour-long documentary on the subject. The video is available for immediate download for $19.95. Watch this 2-minute trailer for a preview.

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Mindful Parents, Mindful Kids offers wonderful ideas for stepping back and focusing on what is important in life. From managing the screens in your household to managing relationships to managing yourself, the wisdom of Dr. Pierroutsakos is relevant and helpful. Too often we find ourselves pushing back against the “givens” when, in fact, they don’t need to be a given at all. Her thoughts were helpful and inspiring.

Tom Hoerr, Ph.D.
Educator and Author
on Multiple Intelligences (MI) and School Leadership

What a refreshing perspective on parenting! Instead of the usual discipline-focused lecture, this video gives parents power and wisdom.

In her soft and calm way, Sophia helps parents realize their role in raising children with a mindful attitude towards life. In this presentation, Sophia teaches simple and practical techniques to empower parents to take charge over their emotions and shift from reactive parenting to mindful parenting.  With wonderful explanations backed by research, she helps parents identify the obstacles that get in the way of parents and children building their emotional intelligence.

I believe that watching Mindful Parents, Mindful Kids will start every parent on a new path in parenting where being mindful is a basic tool to raising great kids.

Ronit Baras
Parenting Coach, Speaker, Autho
r

Thumbs up for this educational and informative video for parents! It teaches the practice, skills and benefits of mindfulness which is an important resource tool for parenting all ages. Being simply present in each moment helps kids and adults to better relate and learn.

Beck Brittain, Ph.D.
The Mothering Coach

Immediate access via .mp4 download or streaming, after confirming purchase. PayPal or credit card payment accepted through PayPal.

$19.95


How to Eat

I know, of all the things we need coaching on, eating hardly seems like a worthy topic for an entire article. Well, before you yawn and move on to something else, consider that Zen Master, Thich Nhat Hanh has written not just one measely article but an entire book on the subject. Seriously.

I would have agreed with your estimation prior to my experience at Thich Nhat Hanh’s One Buddha is Not Enough retreat in Colorado last summer. It was then that I discovered that I was quite adept at shoving food into my mouth but that my consciousness of the experience of eating was quite rudimentary. [Read more…]

LIVE Interview with bestselling author, speaker, thought-leader, Sarah Susanka

Yes, I said “home” not “house” because as I have come to find out myself, your outer spaces are very much a reflection of your inner spaces. What does that mean for us busy moms who are going a mile a minute? Whose inner lives and outer lives are often both noisy and chaotic? (Have you seen the inside of my car lately???)

We invite you to watch the INTERVIEW with bestselling author, Sarah Susanka below. Susanka tells us that bigger and more is not necessarily better… bigger houses, more stuff and more activities don’t equate to more happiness and fulfillment.

Have you experienced this? I know I have. Where are you in your life? Do you feel like your life is bulging at the seams? Are you feeling compelled to do some renovating?

[Read more…]

How to See through the Looking Glass

After a week at a Zen retreat, I’m still not sure what “zen” means. However, I can share a bit of my experience on the other side of the rabbit hole — as Daniel Silberberg describes in his book (from which I read in this video for Looking Glass Lane). When I STOPPED and LOOKED DEEPLY (as is the Zen way), I experienced the illusion of my life. I realized that everything… yes, everything is not as it seems!

[Read more…]

How to Write Your Own Story

unwrittenWhat guru says… happiness comes from engagement without attachment? Really… what guru doesn’t?! I love that the wisdom of the ages has once again been repackaged… in the song, Unwritten. Natasha Bedingfield demonstrates yet again that we are all soooo special and soooo ordinary! [Read more…]