I surrender. I give up and give in to the ten tons of laundry that has invaded my home, along with the despicable crumbs of food everywhere and the fact that I haven’t showered in three days. And no, I don’t have two newborns… not even one!
It’s New Years Eve Day and well, that’s just how it is around here. You know what, I think I’ll make it. 2011 will come anyway… no end of the world, despite my clearly having lost my Type A Mom status.
But seriously now, “surrender” was my word for 2010. When it came to me on New Year’s Eve 2009, I didn’t realize the weight of it — it’s significance and what it would require. What?! You mean I actually have to do it? Give up control?! It was only when I actually let go that I realized how tightly I was holding on — and how tired I was from doing it.
Have you ever watched your kids insist on doing something “the hard way?” Just recently, I told my 7yo, “Trust me on this one. It’s better if you…”
Of course, he summarily dismisses my shoe-tying “wisdom” but eventually he does learn from doing it BOTH ways that I actually sometimes know stuff. But he had to get there all on his own.
A highlight from 2010 was when I shared a panel discussion with Kimberly Coleman and she said, “You make plans and God laughs.” I imagine God laughs a lot when She watches me insist on doing things my way too because She’s been saying, “Trust me! It’s easier THIS way.”
I remember Kim fondly when either me or my kids insist on “pushing rope.” I have a much greater compassion quotient for their desire to control their own destiny. And I’m slowly developing some self-compassion for the times I’ve chosen to summarily dismiss Divine Wisdom myself and at least learned, if but the hard way, that there is an easier way.
I’m wrapping up 2010 and putting a bow on it. It doesn’t look pretty right now but it feels really, really good.
What’s YOUR word for 2011?
I got mine in the wee hours of one morning but that’s a subject of an entirely separate post!
Happy New Year, my friend!