How Many Posts Can We Do About Love: 7

the_red_thread“There’s an ancient Chinese belief that an invisible, unbreakable red thread connects all who are destined to be together.”

This quote begins a most touching story on adoption by Grace Lin called The Red Thread. I happened upon it at my daughter’s school library this weekend. I was quite literally moved to tears. This is yet another kind of love. A love that takes a couple across many miles, through many challenges to be with a baby who tugs on on their hearts, whose absence creates a pain that nothing but being together will sate.

You don’t have to be adoptive parents to feel that red thread, right? I feel it when I see my boy’s face light up as he first spots me in the carpool line. I feel it when it’s a “Daddy night” and they are not sleeping in my bed. I feel it I see a white puffy cloud and wonder what my daughter would say it looks like… that little tug on my heart that reminds me that we are connected. Always.

The Red Thread. A must read… for every family.

Related Articles:

How Many Posts Can We Do About Love: 6

How Many Posts Can We Do About Love: 5

How Many Posts Can We Do About Love: 4

How Many Posts Can We Do About Love: 3

How Many Posts Can We Do About Love: 2

How Many Posts Can We Do About Love: 1

Practical Mommy is Ria Sharon. Click the links for Practical Mommy’s recommendations for travel car seats, affordable and fun diaper bags (skip hop bag), and the best-selling crib brand, Da Vinci Crib.

How Many Posts Can We Do About Love: 6

Love Without Courage is Cruel and Meaningless

love_courageGot you to keep reading, right? I struggled with whether to start this post with that headline… it being so biting and all. But a friend of mine encouraged me by saying, “Even the Buddha met people where they were.” I have to be real enough about myself (see love post #3) to admit and address the fact that I’m not always on the sunny side of love. And actually, I think that the inspiring flip side of that statement, “Real love is courageous” is about just that: having the courage enough to be REAL.

It’s easy to “love” when everything is good. When your kids are cooperating and being their best angel selves. But how about when they are screaming bloody murder at the mall? Is a fair weather friend really a friend? If not, how do you encourage your children to be more than that? How do you encourage your kids to be real? By being brave enough to allow and accept them for who they are regardless of how they are behaving. AND by being brave enough to accept YOURSELF.

For many years, I put my own mom up on a pedestal. Because of our unusual circumstances, I basically was not around her that much after the age of 13. As you can imagine, my mental image of her was completely skewed and inaccurate. She was the mom that tucked me in at night and snuggled in bed with me and made up fantastic bedtime stories. That’s it! She was like the Blue Fairy in Pinocchio. She was Annie’s real mom (a fantasy!) Of course, it wasn’t her fault that I didn’t get to see her be REAL. When I became a mom myself, I held myself to that standard and… it was ridiculous. Every time I would lose my patience or get angry, it would spiral into self-doubt about me and my motherhood. I was so afraid that someone, i.e., my kids would realize I was a less-than-perfect mommy.

It was my sister who let me off the hook! She is blessed and cursed with a much more complicated relationship with mom. But through her eyes I realized that I was no better or worse than her. My mom, me, you… we are both just ordinary, real people doing the best we can.

Being real, showing up in relationships, requires courage because you have to do the scariest thing: allow yourself to be vulnerable.

Related Articles:

How Many Posts Can We Do About Love: 5

How Many Posts Can We Do About Love: 4

How Many Posts Can We Do About Love: 3

How Many Posts Can We Do About Love: 2

How Many Posts Can We Do About Love: 1

Practical Mommy is Ria Sharon. Click the links for Practical Mommy’s recommendations for travel car seats, affordable and fun diaper bags (skip hop bag), and the best-selling crib brand, Da Vinci Crib.

How Many Posts Can We Do About Love: 5

So many times our knee jerk reaction to our children’s constant stream of youthful enthusiasm and zest for life is “no”. How often do we hear ourselves or other parents saying no in one form or another to our kids (stop this, don’t do that, not now) when if we took a minute to think creatively, our “no” might easily be turned into a “yes”? I just heard a great story from my friend that led me to thinking about the many benefits of parenting and loving our kids from outside the box.

“I want to take a bath,” my friend’s three year old daughter said to her while they were eating at McDonald’s.

“Honey, we are not going home after McDonald’s. We are going over to my friend Loretta’s house.”

“Does Loretta have a bath tub?”said little Grace.”Yes, I think so.” said her mom. “Then can I take a bath at Loretta’s?” asked Grace.

“Augghhhh… (insert long pause…) Sure! We’ll ask her when we get there, O.K.?.”

My friend stayed in the moment and seized the opportunity to think outside the box. Actually, she didn’t have to work too hard at it as her three year old had done some very creative thinking for her. What a great idea little Grace had. Of course Loretta has a bath…and why not take a bath at Loretta’s? Who can argue with this sort of logic? It turns out that once set up in her bath, little Grace proceeded to play in the water for close to an hour while her mom and her mom’s friend Loretta visitied. A near hour of uninterrupted time to catch up…any parent of a three year old can appreciate the joy of that unexpected treat. And in the end, they all won.

I am all for structure and discipline, believe me. But at the same time I want my kids to maintain their childlike enthusiasm for life. So if parenting creatively from outside the box helps me do that, then I am all for it. The next time you feel the impulse to say no to your child, pause and see if this might be a chance for you to parent them from outside the box. Sometimes, just by opening ourselves to the needs of our children in the moment and thinking creatively, we are able to find a simple and even better solution than “no!”. And the best part is, when we love our kids in this way, from outside the box, it is almost always a win-win. Nice, huh??!?

For more tips on loving outside the box and exercising your “positive parenting” muscles, visit www.yogiparenting.com and sign up for more information on the yogi parenting newsletter.

How Many Posts Can We Do About Love: 4

How Many Posts Can We Do About Love: 3

How Many Posts Can We Do About Love: 2

How Many Posts Can We Do About Love: 1

Suzanne, aka Zen Mommy
In addition to mommying to two magical girls born in 2000 and 2003, Suzanne owns a holistic health center in St. Louis, Missouri where she practices as a physical therapist, Certified Infant Massage Instructor and health education teacher. Certified in a number of healing and life education approaches, Suzanne offers life coaching as and parenting tips through the positive parenting e-Book Yogi Parenting.

How Many Posts Can We Do About Love: 4

loveThis could also be called “How to Love When You Don’t Have To”. You know what I’m talking about…those times when you have EVERY RIGHT to be mad. Those times where you are justified in feeling angry, indignant, annoyed, irritated or just p.o.’ed. In celebration of Valentine’s Day this month, look for one of those times and love anyway. Forgive, be patient, be silly even instead of right. Move on, take a deep breath and see if you can let it go without an “I told you so…”, an angry word or a look (as it would be in my case because I have my angry look DOWN I tell ‘ya). [Read more…]

How Many Posts Can We Do About Love: 2

slumdog_millionaire_movie_image__1_Oh…..Practical Mommy….I LOVE a challenge. You are ON for the “how many posts about LOVE can we post in February”. I triple dog-dare-you to post more than me!!!. Ha. Watch out though, ’cause this is a topic i am on fire about lately…LOVE. It’s all I want to talk about.

Speaking of love…let’s talk about MAD LOVE. This is the best description i can give for the love I witnessed in SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE, a film that has my heart on fire (as a woman and a mother…both great places to love from, wouldn’t you agree???). Check out this link to the final song of the movie where the couple (who show a fierce and precious sort of love for one another from childhood into adulthood) dance and are ON FIRE. Do yourself a favor and play this while jumping around your home with your baby in your arms or child in your hands pretending you know how to dance in the native Indian way with lots of little hand gestures and quick movemnts. Or play this and dance the TANGO with your husband when he gets home tonight. I danced the Tango with my 5 year old and I thought for sure one of us was going to bust a lung from laughing so hard.

This brings me to the “how to” point of this post…”How to Love Like a Child”. The love I witnessed in Slumdog Millionaire; the love I felt in my heart dancing all around the room with my five year old…this is the love of a child. It is mad love. It is free and crazy love. It is spontaneous love. It’s an I’m-not-taking-life-or-myself-too-seriously sort of love.

This day, laugh when you are happy, scream when you are not… hug someone …anyone! Be in the moment and follow your little ones lead. Let’s open our hearts and love ourselves, our kids and each other with a crazy sort of love. A child’s love is MAD LOVE. They have a lot to teach us, don’t they?!!

Suzanne, aka Zen Mommy
In addition to mommying to two magical girls born in 2000 and 2003, Suzanne owns a holistic health center in St. Louis, Missouri where she practices as a physical therapist, Certified Infant Massage Instructor and health education teacher. Certified in a number of healing and life education approaches, Suzanne offers life coaching as Zen Mommy Coach and parenting tips through the positive parenting e-Book Yogi Parenting.

Related Articles
How Many Posts Can We Do About Love: 1

How Many Posts Can We Do About Love: 1

Where to start???! First of all, I am NO EXPERT in the area of romantic love… I don’t even play one on TV. The track record is… not good. So don’t expect any good How To’s in that department from me. I’m going to leave that to my lovebird friends, Mr. and Mrs. Zen Mommy!

But if you will recall my 16 things about me… #12 is “I say I love you a lot but only when I mean it.”

I live a charmed life simply because not a day goes by when I don’t feel that “welling up” feeling in my heart that I have to say “I love you” to someone. Is that crazy? This is new for me. But I love it! So I’m going to let Todd Park Mohr’s lyrics start off my series on LOVE. “You’ve already got all the love your needing. In your heart, in your mind, in your imagination.” LISTEN!!!

bhtWhy? Because I am seriously crushing on Todd (see #7) and he sang “All the Love You Need” to me on Saturday night. Really. Ask Sharon! 😉

Okay… I do have a “how to” after all. How do you get such a thing to occur? It helps if you 1) sneak your way up to the very front row and 2) make sure you have blindingly white teeth! (see #16)

So my “I loooooove you” for Saturday was to Sharon for letting me drag her to the show and for letting me drag her to the front row and for staying up way past her bedtime! The whole thing was completely impractical!

Practical Mommy is Ria Sharon. Click the links for Practical Mommy’s recommendations for travel car seats, affordable and fun diaper bags (skip hop bag), and the best-selling crib brand, Da Vinci Crib.