You Are Braver Than You Believe

“Promise me you’ll always remember: you’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”

When we are hurting, these words from Christopher Robin to Winnie the Pooh are easy to forget. At some point in our lives, we each need reminding. It is in those moments we find ourselves leaning into another person (a friend or sometimes a complete stranger) who in their compassion and love reminds us.

We ARE brave. We ARE strong. We ARE smart. No matter how fearful, weak or broken we may feel in that moment.

Sunshine After The Storm

Sunshine after the Storm: A Survival Guide For The Grieving Mother strives to do just this, sharing honestly and with compassion the journey of a mother’s heart after the loss of a child , be it to miscarriage, stillbirth or early infant loss.

The book is free on Kindle until October 17th, 2013 and it’s authors would love to see it in the hands of as many people as possible. Mothers. Fathers. Spiritual leaders. Medical professionals. This heartfelt and inspiring collection is for anyone who finds themselves in the midst of loss.

My essay in Chapter Three, “The Things People Say”, is born of my personal experiences with repeat miscarriages, my struggle to ask for the things I needed, to forgive and to receive. In all, the book offers more than twenty “survival tips” and thirty unique perspectives from moms with both shared and varied experiences of infant loss and healing.

You may never know which of your friends this book is meant for, as in loss, most tend to hold their hurt close to the chest, which is why I am asking you to help us help others feel less alone in loss by sharing this link far and wide.

Thank you from the backside of my healing heart for passing this along, that another mother (or yes, another father) in their loss might feel less alone.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

xo

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When we follow our bliss, anything is possible. I hope you walk with me and other moms here because motherhood (and life) is better when we’re holding hands.

Related Posts:

Miscarriage and Loss

Waiting

“How to explain the inner workings of a mother’s heart who just knows there is another child waiting to be born to her?”

 

Waiting from Generation Mindful on Vimeo.

You do not need to have lost a child to know what it is to question, to doubt yourself, or to hope against all odds for a miracle.

This is my story from the magical day I presented it live in front of hundreds in my home town of St. Louis Missouri, and on Mother’s Day no less. I hope it speaks to your heart in some small way. More than anything, I hope my story encourages you to ask whatever it is that is on your heart, to listen, and to follow — even if (especially if) it doesn’t make “sense” to your head.

What is on your heart today? Do you know what it is to wait? What questions have you been asking and what, if anything, are you hearing in return? I know it takes something to share, but I’d love to hear from you below.

xo

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I write here and on My Mommy Manual‘s Facebook page about the connection we are, reminding myself and others to look inside for instructions. I also write about the spiritual journey that is life after loss at In The Face Of Loss and Pinterest as well. If you are a fan of conscious parenting and education, please join me and others at Generation Mindful and here on Instagram where we advocate for PLAY, and helping the generations to slooooow down and to simply connect.

Related Posts:

Time to Mourn

I Don’t Want to do Something Wrong

Growing in Motherhood

Rainbow Babies

photo (3)

Return To Zero: Ready To Grieve Out Loud?

RETURN TO ZERO is a movie based on the true story of a successful couple preparing for the arrival of their first child. Just weeks before their due date, they are devastated to discover their son has died in the womb and will be stillborn.

After their loss, Maggie and Aaron attempt to go on with their lives,  but try as they may, they can not escape their grief. Their lives have been forever altered. They try to cope in a myriad of ways — through denial, escape, and alcohol — but when Maggie ultimately discovers that Aaron is having an affair, she decides to end the marriage.

Just when Maggie believes she has started a new life, she learns she’s pregnant, the baby a result of a last ditch ‘save the marriage’ getaway to Vegas. With the help of her empathetic doctor who had experienced a similar loss years ago, Maggie finally grieves for the loss of her son. Through a turbulent and terrifying pregnancy, Maggie and Aaron reunite to see their child, a daughter, safely into the world.

I am for any movie that deals with grief and loss in an open, truthful way and for this reason, have become a Return To Zero Local Leader.

BREAK THE SILENCE. 

Join me in bringing RTZ to the big screen by simply pledging to see this film opening weekend. Help make an opening weekend for this movie even a reality as the director and producer need to show Hollywood that there is an audience for this film which has already been filmed and stars the talented Minnie Driver.

Stillbirth is a subject that deserves be told in film and in theaters everywhere. Take 18 seconds and make the pledge. Add me, Suzanne Tucker, as your Local Leader on the form or consider becoming a Local Leader in your area. Together we can bring this movie to the world and help others know, it is OKAY to grieve out loud.

Watch the Video and Sign the Pledge 

Become a Local Leader

More Information 

xo

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Join me and other moms on a spiritual journey with grief and loss here, because life’s better when we hold hands.

Related Posts:

My Intention

Hope After Miscarriage

Time to Mourn

Today I mourn.

I set down my coffee, turn on cartoons for my two year old twins, move into a different room and I cry.

“Soldier on. Get back to life. Let it roll off. Carry on.

Those are all things we’re told to do by parents, coworkers, friends, society, and more. It starts young.

We skin our knee, our dog dies, an uncle passes. Carry on. Keep your chin up.

Today I don’t want to lift my head, square my chin, and move forward.

I want to stop, mourning the loss of life and the insanity of it all.

I want to stop, considering these children, their friends, school staff, and parents. Beyond that, the impact to all involved.For a moment, let’s stand still, bow our heads, and mourn. The world won’t stop because we take that time out.

If you pray, pray; if you cry, cry; if you dance, dance.

Mourn.”

These words come to me from a friend on Facebook. They say everything my heart aches to say.
Today as you move through life, I hope you will tear a page out of my friend Todd’s manual and simply allow yourself the space and time to mourn.
xo

Project SHARE: Add Your Story

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said “Life is a journey, not a destination” and so it has been for me with loss and healing, more of a way I travel than a place I ever expect to arrive.

If you are a mother who knows the grief of losing a child or the dream of one to infertility, miscarriage, still birth or early infant loss; if you see your experiences as significant; if you feel that you are on a spiritual journey and that healing is more a way to travel than a place one arrives, I am writing this to you.

First, let me say, I am sorry. Ours is a group I wish no mother belonged to and yet here we are, together.

I know the pain of repeat miscarriage. I know the healing journey it has set me upon and I am writing about my experiences for other women that know grief, that in their loss they may feel less alone.

If you believe our lives are best when they are shared, please join in Project Share. Will you add *you* to the book I am writing? 

This is a picture of what I hope this book will look like one day soon. I have written to the artist, Monica Sabolla Gruppo, who created this beautiful handmade journal to tell her how much I love it and she has given me her blessing to post it here. It’s been an inspiration. This is what my book looks like in my heart even now as I am writing it.

One day soon this project will result in something tangible we can put our hands around. Something to be written in, to be shared with another mother who is having to say goodbye too soon. Here’s how you can be a part of it too.

To participate in Project Share: simply make some time to sit and reflect back on your journey. I have written a short list of questions for you to reflect on below. After you have had time to sit with them, write your thoughts down and send them to me. I am honored to be on the receiving end of these sacred stories.

Please send your reflections as follows:

1) Via email to tuckersuzanne(@)sbcglobal(dot)net, subject “Project Share”

2) Copy and paste your original piece into the body of the e-mail. No attachments please.

3) Please include your name, your baby’s name, type of loss, and a blog URL if applicable.

4) All submissions may be edited for clarity.

5) Submissions due by 12/31/12

6) I will write a thank you to each participant, mentioning you by your full name, first name alone or “pen-name” in the book’s foreword so please note how I might best thank you in your email.

By submitting your reflections, you are giving me permission to publish the entirety or portions of your submission in electronic (web-based and eBook format) or print publication. Introspection and gratitude are this project’s sole compensation and you retain all writes to your written reflections.

Here is a beautiful example from a mom who posted her reflections to her blog. Your responses may be a word, sentence or many paragraphs long. There is no right or wrong way to grieve and there is no right or wrong way to participate in this project. Here are the questions.

In your experiences with miscarriage: What happened? How did you feel? How did you grieve? How did those around you feel and grieve? How did your experiences affect you spiritually? What was your greatest challenge with miscarriage? What, if any, was your greatest gift or life lesson?

I will hold you in my heart as I read the responses you send me. Some of your experiences will be directly quoted in the book while others will influence my writing in ways I can’t even begin to know or express here in words, but if you participate, you will influence this book.

Blessings to you on your journey and thank you for being a part of this project by mothers who know grief for mothers who know grief. Together may we share our lives that another mother’s heart finds comfort and peace.

xoxo

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I believe that when we follow our bliss, anything is possible. If you know what it is to lose a child, be it to miscarriage, stillbirth or early infant loss, I hope you walk with me and other moms that have lost a child, because this journey we’re on is better when we are holding hands. 

Related Posts:

I Don’t Want to Do Something Wrong

Go Tell Them All I Did Not Die

How to Fall

Remembering

This Is My Intention

I know this feeling. I have another something growing within me. This something has a soul. I’m not pregnant (with a baby anyway) but something is definitely growing. 

It’s still new for me to say it out loud, but I’m going to say it anyway. I am writing a book. A companion journal for mother’s who know loss be it to infertility, miscarriage, stillbirth, early infant loss or any other. Loss is loss.

I can see the journal so clearly, how it will look and even how it will feel to hold; to write in. This book will be covered in pretty things, tied with a ribbon and a promise to hold all it contains forever close. This book will be a place for mother’s to feel less alone, to capture memories and search their hearts, unearthing the treasures that await them there. Gifts for them alone.

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said “Life is a journey, not a destination.” And so it is for healing, more a way than a place one arrives. Being with our grief is a worthy journey. Though not popular in our culture, being intimate with our suffering has the power to bring peace and healing. This is the inspiration for this companion journal.

After seven years of living in my journal alone, this book is unfolding. It begins with a chapter on stillness and ends with a chapter on sharing. Each of the book’s five chapters includes stories, quotes, and poems followed by big, beautifully illustrated open spaces to journal.

Writing this companion journal is part of my healing journey to be certain. In 2005 we lost our first son. Leo took flight and left me with a heart full of pain. About a week into my struggle to accept our loss I experienced what I can only describe as a calling. It happened like a tap on my shoulder, a tap that spoke to my heart even though it made no sense to my head. I was supposed to write about my journey with loss.

I doubted this tap. I though, “Who is gonna want to read about my life?” But I started to write anyway. With pen to paper, I wrestled with my life and searched for answers to the questions that filled me.

Six months after losing Leo, one miscarriage turned into two. Turned into three. I was down on my knees and the call got louder. I wasn’t doubting anymore. Turned into four. Turned into five.  Somewhere in the middle there, I started to believe. I was supposed to make time for my grief to live; to  hold love present to my pain that I may be called ever closer to the fullness of life; to share my story and to listen to the stories of others with out judgment or conditions. I was supposed to tell my story.

The chapters are taking shape, miraculously, like little baby fingers and little baby toes. If this book were a baby I think I’m somewhere near the end of my first trimester. An early spring birth, 2014, in time for Mother’s Day and the anniversary of Leo’s passing. I hope so anyway.

It takes a team to have a baby and I am very clear, it will take no less to bring this book to life. I hope you will be there for the long haul so together we can wonder at it’s creation into being.

In my next post I’ll show you a picture of how I see this companion journal looking. Like an eight week ultrasound, this picture will give you a glimpse of what I hope this ‘lil angel will look like one day soon. I can’t wait to show you. (I think it’s going to have my husband’s nose…)

xo

 

 

 

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I believe that when we follow our bliss, anything is possible. If you are a mother that knows loss, I hope you walk with me and other moms that know what it is to grieve as well. This journey we are on is easier when we are holding hands. Join for support and inspiration for the journey of life after loss.

Go Tell Them All I Did Not Die…

Tears. Puddles. Choking feeling in my throat as I just clicked on this song, written for another mother with an angel baby. Baby Jack. Taken early in his life at just nine days old.

The song moves through me. Around me. Lifts me up even as it tears me down. The pain is still there (when I allow it.) This song brings me there. My breath carries me through it.

Thank you Spirit for this beautiful reminder today of my babies in heaven. [Read more…]

How to Share the Pain of Miscarriage and Grow

If you are human then you are WELCOME in this place. This is a safe place for us to join, share, vent, ask…and whatever else we feel like!

Topic: Miscarriage
Confession: I am not very good at asking for help… [Read more…]