Parenting by the book. Don’t do it.

Believe me, I know the first few years (decades?) of motherhood are hard. Wanting to feed, love and help this adorable little person grow the ‘right’ way fills any new parent with all consuming questions, the answers to which seemingly allude you alone. And the questions other people ask — ohhhh the questions.

“Is he sleeping through the night?”

What the hell does that matter? Worst. Question. EVER.

Ask me something that DOES matter. Ask me how I’m feeling. Ask me about my birth story, about me how it feels to be a mom. Ask me about my child’s nature — what sounds does she make? Does she like to be held up, looking out? To be swaddled? Does she burp better when I hold her like this on my knee or over my shoulder? Have I met any other new-mommy friends? Do I feel supported? What can you do to support me?

Seriously — ask me ANYTHING but “Is he sleeping through the night?!?”

The sleep questions we ask one another… at some level I know it’s normal ’cause we’re ALL thinking about it. We all want to know how we can be getting more sleep. But there are sooooo many other things we could be talking about… and trust me when I tell you that none of us (parents of little people) are getting enough sleep.

If your baby or your child doesn’t sleep so well (like, ever!!!), I know it is hard. I know it is unbelievably stressful. On you. On your marriage. Maybe even your relationships with the in-laws and other family members that want to “help”. But the thing is, when it comes to sleep, you really don’t WANT their help… you want their support.

You might be putting up a good front, but secretly, deep down inside, you worry you are doing it wrong and you blame yourself. ‘WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?!?!?!? WHY WON’T THIS KID SLEEP?!?!?!?’

Or secretly, you blame your child. ‘Damn kid. Just f-ing go to sleep!!!! I will PAY YOU TO GO TO SLEEP!!!’

If your child is still a baby, you blame nursing or bottle feeding for the (sometimes hourly but don’t tell anybody) middle of the night wakeups. You blame yourself for holding your baby when they cry (?!?!? please never blame yourself for this. EVER.) Maybe your doctor has even ‘warned’ you about this by saying “It’s never too early to set them her up to be a good sleeper…” But whatever you are hearing, know this, if the advice you are getting (even from your doctor, even from your mom) doesn’t sit well with you and your gut, you can choose to LET IT GO and trust yourself and what feels right to you instead.

Of course you are feeding and holding your baby — your baby is CRYING! Your baby is HUNGRY. Your baby literally thrives on touch. Or maybe she has reflux (or some other mysterious thing going on inside of her that she alone knows about) and amazingly enough, knows she feels better when she has a little milk in her tummy. Or maybe she’s hitting a growth spurt and is brilliantly helping you ready your milk supply for this spurt and so, yep, it’s time to eat AGAIN.

My point is, take a second to balance the disempowering messages the world keeps sending you in this, the age of outside information, and remind yourself DAILY of this simple truth:

You know best.

Always, always go the way that feels the lightest. The brightest. The RIGHTEST.

Collect the data. Ask for input. See a specialist. Let all the information and the many different ways you could in motherhood on any given day filter down through you as you allow yourself to decide which way to go based on your gut. Your INTUITION.

But never give your power away. You can trust your instincts.


PS: If you liked this post, join our community of mindful mamas. You’ll receive weekly (errr, almost weekly. I’m a mom of four first so, yeah… if I don’t have anything to say worth saying, believe me, I won’t be saying/sending anything) gentle parenting tips as well as a free gift, a Hug Each Moment Kit via email today, direct to your inbox. (But sorry, I don’t do spam.)

Inspiration and support for the journey of motherhood.  The manual is ours to write but we don’t have to write it alone! Let’s connect on twitterfacebook and pinterest too. xoxo



Wanting to hold your baby is natural and has benefits for both parents AND baby.

Babywearing. This is literally the ONLY way I was able to grocery shop with my twins (six months old in this picture.) I wore them in different ways at different ages and I hope this review of the hows and whys encourages you to look into the many different babywearing options there are out there for parents these days. They are two now and our sling is still getting a work out, mostly around the house when I’m cleaning up and with light food prep for dinner these days.

Babywearing makes life easier and more comfortable for all, keeping our little ones close while also freeing up hands. Babywearing allowed me to tend to LIFE (including my two older kids) while also meeting my twins most basic needs. The need to be held.  [Read more…]

What a Baby Doll!!!

We are sooo happy for new mom Virginia Kerr and her sweet as pumpkin pie little guy Riggs. We caught up over lunch and captured this huggable moment four weeks after his birth. I got to hear the birth story, how things were going and talk shop (how to wear a baby, sleep stuff and more… could I love to talk about anything more?!?)

We are thinking of you Virginia. Enjoy every moment with your babe. We know you hear this a lot, but it REALLY does go fast. (Take it from a mom whose felt-like-I-just-had-em twins are now crawling and climbing STEPS!) [Read more…]

How to Find a Great Nanny

There is not much I need to type here that I don’t say in this video journal from our week long adventure finding a nanny. I will tell you that we DID IT! We hired our fifteen to twenty hour a week nanny. Her name is Rachel and she r-o-c-k-s. She’s experienced, she’s easy to work with and most importantly, she’s great with my kiddos.

From the start I’ve felt like we’ve just “flowed”… and that is really important to me.

I never wanted this process to be hard, nor did I think it needed to be, inspite of some of the horror stories friends have shared with me on their experiences doing the same. Who wants this important relationship to be hard, stressful or strained? Not I. Not I!!! So going into it, I looked for help. Someone to hold my hand you could say. Enter the agency I decided to use to source referrals, [Read more…]

Little Angel

For more cute-school pictures, go to our Huggable Moments Gallery and add yours! [Read more…]

The Kiss

For more cute-school pictures, go to our Huggable Moments Gallery. And you can add yours! [Read more…]

33 Weeks: The Karate Kid

Those little nudges in my belly that I thought were so cute have grown into full blown karate chops! Skittles almost took me out twice today during the newscast.

Thank goodness I wasn’t on camera when it happened because it had me doubled over in pain.  Can’t get mad at the kid though. Just 30 minutes before I was worried because I hadn’t felt him in several hours.

The Mom is Born Virtual Shower was yesterday! It was so much fun.

Look how I was greeted when I rolled up to Overlook Farm in Clarksville, MO.

The shower was held in one of the cottages on the 200 acre grounds.

The chefs and director went all out with the “R” because they know Skittles real name begins with an R.

They served Skittles and even made personalized sugar cookies. One read “Skittles” another “Bama Baby.”

And my mother in law Lynn, sister in law Christy and close friend Jill all came to participate in the Holding Hands bracelet ceremony. My good friend Afton from Channel 4 was there as well as friends Jill and Christy, all three of which who are pregnant, too.

The Holding Hands ceremony was so touching! Now we each have a birthing bracelet with beads that represent each other. Mine also has one from my mother in law, sister and mother and Zen Mommy and Practical Mommy. I will wear it into the delivery room so I can remember each of them and what their beads symbolize.

The online shower was so fun and such an eye opener.  I could not believe 1200 people logged on and watched. I want to say thank you to the viewers and all the sponsors for the donations to the March of Dimes. You all helped raise more than $6500!!!!

Here’s a clip from the shower, if you couldn’t watch.

Until next time…seven weeks to go!!!!!! Seven weeks of duke it out in my belly!


Virginia Kerr is a morning news anchor on News 4. You can watch her Monday – Friday from 5AM to 7AM.

Wordless Wednesday

“Come on sister, let’s try this stuff they call rice cereal.”

[Read more…]

How to Celebrate Half Birthdays

It seems almost unreal but my calendar insists our twins are in fact 6 months old. And how did they celebrate their big half birthdays? By sleeping through the night, together for the VERY FIRST TIME in their 182+ days of life.

I think my babies got together to give their mama a gift. Eight plus hours of uninterrupted sleep. Thank you sweet angels. This is just what mommy has been wishing for. [Read more…]

How to Prepare for Birth

We here at My Mommy Manual are honored to be  included in this resource list of the Top 50 Sites for Moms!

Pregnancy Blogs to Prepare for Your Baby’s First Year

To help get you the latest in baby information both quickly and anonymously, we have gathered the below 50 blogs to prepare for your baby’s first year. With tips for everything from pregnancy to baby fashion, they are an excellent stop for everyone from the first time mom to dads and even medical professionals.

We hope you will visit this excellent resource and benefit from the information these amazing blogs offer!

Remember, we are NOT in this alone.

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

Related Articles:


How to Find Balance for Life

How to Raise Your Child to Be Happy


Suzanne Tucker, aka Zen Mommy

In addition to mommy-ing to two magical girls and twins born in 2010, Suzanne co-owns a holistic health center with her husband Shawn in St. Louis, Missouri where she practices as a physical therapist, Certified Educator of Infant Massage and health education teacher. Suzanne is the Co-creator of My Mommy Manual and the online parenting course, Yoga Parenting.