Peers and Proof: Essentials for Surviving Divorce

I’ve been reflecting on what got me through that critical first year post-divorce and after talking to a few other single moms, decided that these two things are essential. I needed peers: I cherished times that I could be with or talk to other moms who were going through divorce too — who better to understand, in a truly visceral way, what I was going through? Who could cry AND laugh with me? These women and I share a unique bond, one rooted in our shared stories.

And proof: connecting with moms who had been through it and had come out the other side was equally as critical. Because of them, I could say, “Wow! You survived!” and think, “That means, I can too.”

These women and their stories are a lifeline. Through their words, whether spoken or written to me, I’ve learned so much: that there is a difference between being lonely and being alone, that grieving is normal — not just for a person but for a life, that there things that I gave up to be married — more than I care to admit — and that I can reclaim them. Stories are the pulse, that run underneath our experiences, reconnecting me to my humanity during a time when the ground seemed to be continually shifting and I couldn’t find a safe place to stand.

But I’m still standing! And now I’m honored to serve as peer and proof to others. It’s from this humble place that I share my own stories and what I’ve learned through them here.

What if you could be sure a whole self and a whole life awaited you on the other side of divorce? This is a possibility offered by hopeful divorce: field notes from a friend, an online journey offers practical, soul-fortifying support to help moms discover hope, healing and wholeness as they move through divorce.