I was totally inspired by this post from Scott Noelle. If you don’t subscribe to his Daily Groove, I’d highly recommend it. It sets a great tone for my day:
“Perfectionistic parenting is rooted in the false idea that it’s bad to make a mistake or fall short of one’s expectations.
But if you think about it, you can derive value from any experience — no matter how “bad” it is or how much pain it involves — IF you’re willing to look for the hidden gifts.”
The hidden gift is like your child’s invisible friend. Did you ever have an invisible friend? Or maybe a stuffed animal that was so real, it was alive to you. If so, you’ll know what I mean when I say that the only person who benefits from this reality is you. And really that’s the only thing that matters. Remember on Sesame Street when Big Bird was the only one who could see Mr. Snuffalufagus? It didn’t matter to Snuffy that no one else could see him. And to Big Bird, he had a real friend.
Hidden gifts were my real friends during this last, very tumultuous year of life. The act of asking myself, as Scott does, “what is the gift here?” gave me the opportunity to focus on something productive… and saved me many times from giving up in despair.
Example: every three hour session in divorce mediation. Yeah… they were all terrible. Conflict is an ongoing lifelong lesson for me… and yet every time I survived (although emotionally bruised and bleeding), I felt more confident about my own assertiveness and inner resources.
Self-doubt is yet another gremlin for me. Can anyone relate?! But for this reason, I have Paulo Coelho’s quote taped to my bathroom wall:
“Lord, protect our doubts, because Doubt is a way of praying. It is Doubt that makes us grow because it forces us to look fearlessly at the many answers that exist to one question.”
I have a friend who thinks that this is just a coping mechanism… probably much like invisible friends.
Practical Mommy is Ria Sharon. Click the links for Practical Mommy’s recommendations for travel car seats, affordable and fun diaper bags (skip hop bag), and the best-selling crib brand, Da Vinci Crib.