How to Minimize Mommy Guilt

mom_guiltLast week, I wrote an article about Child Immunizations and I realized that whether it’s about tough decisions like that one or small ones (like letting them watch one more episode of Dora while we finish a conversation with a girlfriend), moms seem to be hard-wired with Mommy Guilt. It seems like from the moment we conceive these precious beings, we want to be the best moms possible and yet the internal dialogue starts almost immediately… “OMG! I had that glass of wine and I didn’t know I was pregnant!”

We put so much pressure on ourselves to be PERFECT MOM. Frankly, sometimes I think all the information out there can be counter-productive. There’s the best food to eat while pregnant, there’s the best way to put your baby to sleep, there’s the best way to feed your baby, there’s the best way to play with your baby… all these bests which are the ten’s on a scale that we can never live up to.

My advice: let go of the best way and embrace YOUR way. Nobody but you stands in the place you are at the moment that you make choices for your children. So no one can tell you what’s best. If you’ve let them watch one more episode of Dora to talk to a girlfriend… it may be because she’s just told you her mom has cancer. Or, it may be because you need a break and someone else’s ear. Whatever the circumstance, you are teaching your children through modeling that other, grown-up relationships are important too. If you let your child climb into bed with you, you are honoring his need for contact and touch. If you decide that your child must sleep in their crib/bed, you are honoring your need for space.

Start with the premise that you are a mom and that you love your children. How do I know this? Because you’re reading this article!

Practical Mommy is Ria Sharon. Click the links for Practical Mommy’s recommendations for travel car seats, affordable and fun diaper bags (skip hop bag), and the best-selling crib brand, Da Vinci Crib.

Comments

  1. I totally agree. I can’t count the number of times someone said to me, while I was pregnant, “You’re eating THAT? THAT’S not the healthiest choice for your baby.” Or, since I’ve had my baby, “You’re letting him eat THAT already? Really?” Or,”Aren’t you worried about THIS?”

    I have since gotten over my desire to punch these people in the face. I now just nod and smile and, very quickly, move on.

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  2. we JUST talked about mommy guilt today in my weekly baby massage class. so great to put out there for discussion.

    it was funny, but we all felt better about whatever had been bothering us once we bounced it off the other moms there. don’t you just love that??? CONNECTION. SUPPORT. impossible to go about this mommy thing alone…

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