How To Add Sparkle to Your Relationship

Sex and the City 2 (c) 2010 HBO Films

Two of my girlfriends and I went to pay homage see Sex and the City 2 for an early birthday celebration.  The movie got me thinking about how I’ve changed and how my relationships have changed.  Sometimes I have a difficult time reconciling my single-dating life with my current life.  It’s like the person I thought I was turned on its axis.  I was a good dater.  Think about Carrie Bradshaw in her hey-day.  Now I’m a stay-at-home mom of two boys who cooks dinner almost every night.

What the hell happened? I wake up in a cold sweat sometimes remembering where I am.  Okay, well, it’s not that bad, but you get the picture. Lately I’ve been wondering, “Would I date my husband?”  Worse yet, would he date me?

So I’ve been secretly playing with that idea this week.  If I was dating my husband, I would definitely be flirting with him more.  I was an excellent flirt back then and I need to brush up on those skills with him.  We’ve had a serious discussion recently about Husband not taking me for granted so much (I realize this is probably a reaction to a few of my girlfriends going through awful marital strife which is leading to aggression, separation and divorce.)  He’s been doing a great job by texting or calling me during the day when he’s thinking of me.  It’s made me feel very appreciated and loved.  This in turn helps my mood when he comes in the door after work and I hand the kids off so I cook dinner.

And being in a better mood helps me want to be more frisky in responding to his advances.  I’m saying yes more often because I want to and he needs it.  I’m also in a better mood and I want to fondle him more.  You know, grab his buns, rub his chest, and let a kiss linger just a bit longer.  My parents were always affectionate in front of us (still are) and while sometimes I cringe, I actually think it’s adorable when my Dad gives my Mom a little smack on the behind.  Let’s just say the apple didn’t fall far from the tree.

I also make an effort at things looking nice.  I’ve always been a girl who doesn’t leave home without wearing “earrings and lipstick” as my Grammy would say (this has everything in the world to being raised in Texas).  I mean a good day is a shower and dishes being done, but yes I do wear minimal makeup everyday.  However, I’ve made an effort to straighten up the house a bit and quickly do the dishes before Husband comes home.  Just so he doesn’t walk into too much chaos.

Now before you start thinking that I’ve time warped into the 1950s, please know that I mean minimally.  Just picking up a few toys and pillows off the floor and clearing off the counter.  Wouldn’t you do a quick pick-up if your ‘boyfriend’ were coming over?  This is what I’m talking about.

It’s been a fun mindset to play with – thinking of my Husband as my boyfriend.  It’s added a little “sparkle” to our relationship as Carrie would say (however, we have very different interpretations of the word).  Life in our house has been more playful and spirits have lifted.  I think I may even put out during tonight’s Date Night.  But he’s got to earn it and I know he will.

Tell me, what ways do you add a little “sparkle” to your relationship?

by Expert Mommy, Jen Hibbits


  1. Jen.
    I love this frame of mind. Husband as boyfriend. I too confess to the hubby’s driving up the driveway-last minute-run around like a crazy person-clean up attempt at having less chaos for when he walks in the door.

    We used to be SOOOO good at our once a week date nights. With twin 4.5 mo olds and it being summer (so home with all four of our kiddos…) I need a little frisky injection. This might just be the mind shift I am needing to move away from sleep deprived mom of four and closer to free-spirited, kayak-lovin’, dirty-dancing, poem writing chic of my yester-dating days.

    Thank you for the inspiring post!!!

  2. Suzanne, Whoa Nelly! Take it easy on yourself. You have already earned the super cape with being at home with infant twins plus 2 more. I may have to pour a drink in honor of you. I send you well wishes of the groove finding you and holding you. You’ve got a lot on your plate, girlfriend. Frisky injection? How do you have the energy for that right now? I’m in awe. Be good to yourself and thanks for commenting. 🙂