How to Start Talking Birds & Bees

I pulled this video because, one, my girlfriends and I, all mother’s of ten year old girls, were JUST talking about this over lunch the other day. We were all in different places as far as having had “the talk” but agreed it was time if one hadn’t begun to share about this important subject . I for one think any age is a good age to talk about sex , or in the bigger picture, sexuality, with your kids as long as they are asking questions and are interested in your answers. Starting de-mystifies the whole topic so that one day you don’t have to just out of the blue ask your son or daughter to have the big TALK.

I remember having it with my mom and all I can say is that it was uncomfortable, not helpful, isolated occurrence. I wanted to go about things differently with my kids so we’ve been talking about sex in little and big ways since potty training. It started with my husband and I using the correct anatomical names for body parts instead of woo-woo or whatever else we might have come up with. 😉 We said (and still say) vagina. It’s not that it’s so easy for me to speak freely about all things sexuality with my kids, it’s just that it’s IMPORTANT to me. So I do. I sometimes even go a little out of my way to bring the topic up following something we see on television or out and about.

Have you started to have conversations with your teen/tween about how their bodies are changing: why they need to start wearing deodorant or when they can start shaving or why everyone is whispering about Suzy and Johnny? Watch this VIDEO of a Girls in the Know session with Dr. Denise Meckler, OB/GYN and this one by Ria and I on How to Talk About Sex. I hope they get the conversations started in your home or maybe just a bit further along.

Related Articles

How to Talk About Sex

Zen Mommy is Suzanne Tucker, co-creator of the Yoga Parenting course. Are you ready for parenting to be easier, more fun and less stressful?


  1. This was a challenging video segment to edit because Dr. Meckler had so much great information to share about so many different topics to cover — not just sex but puberty and personal hygiene and safety. She was funny and engaging and really allowed the girls and moms to connect on these “uncomfortable” topics.

    If you’re in St. Louis with pre-teen/teen daughters, I so encourage you to check out

  2. I’ve been dreading having this convo with my oldest! Thanks for making it seem a little less painful! Great video-I’ll definitely share! Thanks!

    All the Best,


  3. Thanks, Heather. Yes, lots to talk about and I think the earlier we start talking about these “touchy” topics, the better. In age appropriate ways of course. A few months ago, my 8yo girl came up to me and said, “M said a bad word. Or I think it’s bad.” M is an 11 yo girlfriend. Convo that followed:

    Me: What was it?

    DD: Sex!

    Me: That’s not a bad word.

    DD: What is it?

    Me: It’s when a man and a woman want to make a baby. Or, really, any animal wants to make a baby.

    DD: Oh. That’s it??? Geez.

  4. It is the most difficult and challenging moment for parents, to give them awareness about them selves, either that is the physical, or the mental one. Very nice and really helpful video. Thanks for sharing

  5. This isn’t serious, right? Kids have so much information sources nowadays, we are not living in the 50s.

  6. Yes, Jenny. There is no shortage of information out there. That really isn’t the issue. It’s how we connect with our kids, which is the vision of Girls In the Know and ours as well… how do we empower ourselves and our children through our connection with them.

    I’d love to hear how you have connected with yours about sex, puberty, and sexuality.

  7. I think today’s kids are very well educated from TV and internet. As well the subject is covered well at schools.

  8. A few friends and I formed a mother-daughter group modeled (and following) the book The Mother Daughter Project by S. Hamkins and R. Schultz – well thought chapters on ages and stages with creative activities/knowledge to inform and empower girls. Nurtures a continuing bond among the girls and moms over years…We didn’t agree about how the school was handling the info, nor the mass junk culture’s promotion/portrayal of sexuality; one activity actually has the girls’ analyze media messages about women/girls…