My husband and I have had five miscarriages. A lot of living went into that simple sentence. Starting today, I am writing about my experiences with loss here on My Mommy Manual.
What I’m REALLY writing about is acceptance (or the lack there of) in my life. Acceptance. This is what life has been asking of me and teaching me all at the same time. Maybe you’ve had a miscarriage, or maybe you haven’t, but most likely you’ve experienced loss in one way or another.
As I write this we are grieving as a nation. Less than a week ago there was a tragic shooting spree in Tucson Arizona – six people killed and 13 injured. One of the dead includes a nine year old little girl. She was senselessly murdered, taken in a flash with no warning. Her parents will never tuck their daughter into bed again, never kiss her sweet forehead or hold her hand; denied even a last “I love you.”
We all hurt for this terrible, terrible tragedy. So many lives affected by one young man who picked up a gun and began to shoot. When unthinkable things happen, how do we find the strength to keep on living?
The following is an except from a book I am writing on acceptance and though it is written specifically for women healing through miscarriage, this conversation is for us all. I hope you’ll return weekly as we take this conversation to the next level. Ultimately, I’d like to add your insights to my book. Through our sharing, may we live ever more fully, a life of acceptance.
Here is the first section. Thank you for joining me in this, what I hope will be a dialog between us. I look forward to your comments.
BEING WITH GRIEF
“Be gentle with yourself. Treat yourself like you would a best friend or a beloved sister. Go slowly. We’re almost always hardest on ourselves.
And if EVER, as you read this book and/or reflect on your life, you find you are beating yourself up, stop! See if instead of judging yourself for judging yourself, you can take a deep breath. Say these words aloud or in the silence of your mind, “We all grieve in our own way. There’s no right or wrong way to grieve.”
Can we find purpose and meaning in all things that happen in our lives? Do gifts or blessings really ever come from challenging experiences? Can we be happy even if the things happening in our lives are not? If so, how?
These are the questions I’d like to explore with you in the chapters (posts) to come.
By sharing my experiences with miscarriage, my many struggles with acceptance and ultimately, the blessings I have received along the way, may I be a support to you as you live, heal and take time to be with your life experiences as well.”