How to Fall

I didn’t let people know the true depth of the hurt I was feeling after my first miscarriage. I let a few people in, but not many. My sadness seemed out of proportion to the amount of hurt I thought I was supposed to feel. In many ways, I just moved on. Hurting was hard. Moving on sounded like a better plan.

It took a lot to force my hand. Somewhere around miscarriage number four I guess you could say I “let go”. Life had me down on my knees and that was where I wanted to stay. Closer to the ground. Closer to spirit, to family. My perspective of life and the things that mattered were forever altered. I wasn’t in control and that was okay. Finally. That was okay.

It took me awhile to give myself permission to fall, but when I did, I fell into the arms of something greater than I ever could have imagined.

May this day find you holding on to letting go. Surrender to it. Lose control.

I wrote this poem years ago but it seemed right to share with you today.

SPIRIT

If I were to jump
Would you follow?

How is it
You are already there
On the valley floor
Arms outstretched
Ready to catch
What hasn’t even fallen?
——-

Suzanne Tucker, publisher of MyMommyManual.com and co-creator of YogaParenting, an online course helping parents create more joy and less stress in parenting.

Comments

  1. Your words ring true in so many ways… for me, grieving a part of me that had to die. That part, in fact, that insisted on being in control — in order to surrender to something bigger.

    That part that winces because this comment is probably not grammatically correct. LOL!

    *sigh* xo, friend!

    [Reply]

  2. I think it is not right to surrender at any point, the life still continues. There is always a next time.

    [Reply]

  3. Zen Mommy says:

    Jenny,
    I’d love to hear more about your view to never surrender. For me it all lies in how one defines “surrender”. If surrender means to give up – to check out of or end one’s life then certainly, not attractive. But if surrender means to yield to what is in life, to let go of resistance, to hold onto letting go… to hold onto spirit’s way… well then, that’s something worth practicing. :)

    [Reply]

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