First of all, I have to clarify that I’m not sure I qualify as a “single mom.” I’m single and a mom but as my friends have heard me explain, the former implies that my children don’t have a dad at all (for some reason) and that is not an accurate description of our family. The truth is that my children are very lucky to have a dad that is present, both physically and mentally for them. In fact, I think that he is quite adept at being fully present with them and they love it!(To protect his privacy, I won’t post a pic… although I have gobs of great ones of him with the kids.)
It’s the first Father’s Day since our divorce and I am surprised that I’m emotional about it at all… more so than on Mother’s Day. Maybe I feel guilty that I’m not there to make sure the kids made him a sweet card or remembered to give him the gift we picked out for him. As I got ready for my day this morning, I reflected on how distasteful I’m finding it to be around people who can’t find anything nice to say about others, including their ex-whatevers. And it being Father’s Day and all, I spent my meditation time thinking about the wonderful things that I learned from this man who is the father of my children: authenticity, assertiveness, confidence…. these are lessons I so dearly needed to learn in this life. I am grateful that I chose a good teacher. Even in the midst of our great conflict, I kept reminding myself that I chose the best teacher for me. If I had picked a pushover for a husband, I wouldn’t have been forced to learn them!
I am grateful that my children will learn from him too. I watch my son and never worry about him being too timid or shy, or thinking he can’t do something or have what he wants. It’s part of his nature, it’s part of his dad’s nature. It’s a beautiful thing.
So I titled this post as a question because I’m not sure how to help my kids celebrate Father’s Day for their dad. I wonder if it’s more rude not to acknowledge it at all or by intruding on their family’s celebration by calling. I wonder if his mom made sure that it was a good day.
“Single dads”… or dads who are single, what do you think?
Practical Mommy is Ria Sharon. Click the links for Practical Mommy’s recommendations for travel car seats, affordable and fun diaper bags (skip hop bag), and the best-selling crib brand, Da Vinci Crib.