How to Begin Again

I’ve been unapologetically absent here in 2011. Since November/December of 2010, when I was challenged to examine the way I work and live in the world, it’s been a process of letting go of old patterns of behavior. The way I was engaging here was clearly off — not in the outcome because I truly believe in the community we are creating and supporting — but my process.

Let me tell you how it was… like many bloggers I know, I was burning the candle at both ends. We had way too many commitments for the number of hours in the day: TV appearances, guest columns/posts, events… and as much as we loved creating content and providing resources for our moms and partners, I came to the realization that regardless of how successful we are, I just could not maintain this pace.

I actually had to “walk the walk” and listen to my intuition, which was saying that I had to put this down and allow the Universe to guide me to a new way of “doing,” one that is actually sustainable.

That’s where I’ve been for 2011. Learning a lot about boundaries, about grace, about relationships, and about humility. That is a big lesson: humility — that I can’t do it all, that whether or not I work an extra five hours that day or work at all that day makes not one iota of difference in the grand game of life on this planet, that if I hang on stubbornly to the belief that the only way that things get done is if I DO IT MYSELF, I am limited by the capacity of my own effort — which is not all that much.

That ego-driven thought is a tough cookie. It was born out of my need to survive my childhood but I know in my heart that to achieve my life purpose, it’s a way of being that has to end.

I’d love to say that here I am, a brand-new me in 2012. But in truth, it’s with tentative steps that I dip my toe back in, knowing more than ever how little I know about life and mothering but with a much more open heart to receive guidance from that still, small voice.

I hope you’ll join me on what I hesitate to call a “journey” as much as a stroll… to rediscover an honest and humble place in the family of things.

~ Ria