How to Be a Happy (Not Guilty) Mama

So I was supposed to be stepping onto a plane just about now.  I was heading for a weekend in Asheville, North Carolina with my BFF (and business partner) Ria Sharon.

Hotel rooms, dinners, lots of girl time… not to mention the real reason I was going: to speak at the very cool Type A Mom Conference, mingling with ka-jillions of super cool moms that work online like myself.

So what happened? Why am I sitting here in my home office typing while the twins take their afternoon nap? It has to do with two things 1) Mommy Intuition and 2) Mommy Guilt… the very things I planned to speak about at the Conference.

Here’s how the two relate. Mommy guilt, for me anyway, is at it’s strongest when I’m not tuned in and listening to my intuition; when I do things out of obligation or according to some self perceived set of societal norms.

So after a moment of clarity last night which told me loud and clear there was no way I was to go on this trip, when I awoke, all the doubt and pressures of the day began to creep back into my head.

It started when I thought of calling Ria to tell her I was not coming. I began to question my earlier moment of clarity. Maybe I could go. Maybe the kids were going to feel better soon, etc, etc…

“Was that REALLY a moment of clarity last night?” Doubt.

“Man, how flaky will this make me look? Canceling my trip the day before I  am supposed to speak?” Fear.

“I’m going to miss the CONFERENCE, the dinners (that I didn’t cook) and spending time with my peeps!” Ego.

Then, a moment of grace. It’s 7:33 am and my sweet babes pull at my shirt to nurse. I sit with them cradled in my arms, both at the breast. Slowly the clarity I had the night before (tending to two sick kiddos) came rushing back. Maybe it was the oxytocin, but at any rate, I was clear again. Clear to move as my intuition was guiding me to move. Not fear. Not doubt. Not ego.

Not a fun call to make. Even with my intuition showing up more clearly, I still felt I was letting someone or something down by canceling my trip.

Quick, before I lost this second wave of clarity I taped a little video to explain, mostly to myself, why I wasn’t going.

And here I thought I might need to rise above mommy guilt to go out of town, not NOT to go.

Irony. Gotta love it.

I am happy to report that thanks to listening to my gut (which told me at about midnight last night that there was no way I was supposed to be stepping foot on that plane) I have spent the day happily tending to one very snotty, sad, fussy, wanting to nurse a ton little boy and his sister.

My takeaway? Always. Trust. Your. Mommy. Intuition. And leave the guilt behind.


Suzanne Tucker aka Zen Mommy hopes if you liked this article you will subscribe and/or join other mindful mamas here. To keep the lights on, Suzanne runs a holistic health center in St. Louis, Missouri with her husband Shawn. She is passionate about the connection we are and to that end offers Infant Massage, parent coaching and YogaParenting.


  1. Hugs! I can only aspire to be half the Zen mama you are!

  2. Thanks for the *hugs* Lisa. I can ALWAYS use a hug. And like my Nana always said, “Hugs are better than kisses!”