How to Be an Expert Mommy

When I first spoke with Zen Mommy about guest posting here, my heart was all a-flutter. This is probably because she told me that I’m funny. My husband doesn’t think so. Obviously, he’s WRONG. And it was great fun to throw THAT in his face. So, I was driving along swimmingly, my heart full of happy bubbles and my mouth moving at the speed of light when two very critical words seeped into my consciousness.

Expert Mommy.

I suppose I was so stoked by the offer that I forgot for a moment that this site is a cesspool of knowledge. You know, useful information. Me, an Expert Mommy? Hell, there are so many days when it takes every ounce of my being to just be a mediocre mommy. And right at that moment I almost backed out. I was intimidated at the thought. These women are educated and experienced. I’m a 27 year old mom of one with an uncompleted college education. How could I compete?

Then it hit me.

This is not a pissing contest ladies. It’s a sisterhood. Some days we feel like we are failing at EVERYTHING. We all do. The kids won’t stop bickering and we lose our cool. We had a long day at work, followed by dinner, followed by fighting with ourselves about whether or not to straighten up the house or to sink into the sofa and just breathe for a minute. We look back at the day we’ve had and think, “What the hell am I doing?” The truth is, none of us really know. We are all just feeling our way around trying to get it right, whatever is is. I can’t count the number of times I’ve been sucked in to that whole ‘I bet my kid is better than your kid’ scenario. Or the number of times when another mother’s ideas have been force-fed to me. I.V.’s like that really get under my skin.

Rest assured, that’s not what MMM is here for. This isn’t the type of manual that pinpoints right from wrong. In the world of parenting, there’s a pretty broad area of gray and no on is here to tell you if you are too far to the left or right. We are here to share and learn.

Expert: a person who has special skill or knowledge in some particular field.

My current situation has me in the position of needing to learn to be an expert multi-tasker. In addition to taking care of my family, I’m working full time, starting college classes in the fall, and trying to launch a business. In the upcoming months, my plan is to share this journey with you all. I mean, if I don’t end up in the fetal position in a corner somewhere- bald.

Here’s where you come in. I’m pretty sure I’m going to be needing a support team. I pick you. You can help me be an expert by sharing what you know. Ready-set-go!

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by Expert MommyJennifer Burden


  1. I love your post, Jennifer. Great guest post for my friends Ria and Suzanne. (I have a feeling they will be inviting you back).

    ” Some days we feel like we are failing at EVERYTHING. ” Here, Here! Yes, I get those days too.

    I”m not sure I am an expert at anything, but I am very dedicated to living life with romance and adventure and helping others, especially single moms (because I’m a former one) do the same.

    THe whole multi-tasking thing is something I am trying to untrain myself from, actually. (I say that, but I have about 12 browser windows open as I type).

    For me, I need to learn how to hone in and really focus on one task at a time, because I’m great at getting balls rolling and need more practice carrying them to through.

    Thank you for your post, Jennifer! Lots of joy, support and encouragement to you!

  2. Thanks Morgan!! I tend to do the same thing with getting the balls rolling. I can usually follow through, but something gets done halfway. I mean, how can you put all your effort in when you’re spreading it to so many places?

  3. Thank you so much for adding your voice to our song, Miss @Paramomal! I was not kidding when I said that I cried when I read this. This post, in that divine way, I felt was written for me.

    So again I am reminded of that wonderful Henry Nouwen quote, “What is most personal is most universal.” Multi-tasking? Yup. Asking WTF am I doing? Yeah. Me.

    Wait just one darn minute. Educated and experienced? Was she talking about me??? Ha!

    You so get us, Jenn! And we’ve been stalking you for a long time! So glad you finally joined us! 🙂