Remember being a kid and saying to your brother/sister/friend, “Your EPIDERMIS IS SHOWING!!!” and then laughing your butt off as they recoiled in horror and embarrassment, covering themselves but not quite knowing where to cover?
I do. I remember being on both ends of that joke. Oh the horror. How embarrassing. I hated being embarrassed (and still do. Who likes it really?)
That fear of showing my epidermis? It’s a lot like when I sit down to write. I read over the stories of my life fearing I’ve shown too much. And then ideally, I hit save anyway. Ideally, I resist the urge to edit me and my epidermis right out of my stories. And it’s hard because, editing ourselves, isn’t that what we’ve been trained to do?
Hiding our “crazies”.
My friend shared a secret from her childhood with me this morning. She sent her story to me in a private Facebook message. She would not have called it a secret; more of a “deep-dark-secret”.
My friend thought I might not reply, saying I could un-friend her and she wouldn’t hold it against me. She thought in sharing her story with me, her “crazies” as she called them, I would love her less or go away all together.
Isn’t that is how we all feel? “If they only knew…”
My friend shared something *private* with me. Something she doesn’t love about herself. Something she was certain I could not love in her either. But I did. And really, I love her all the more for it.
I have these stories. You have these stories. My friend was brave to share hers with me.
This connection created through sharing? This is the single reason I write.
I want to show you my epidermis.
I sent my friend a reply. I told her how much I loved her. How brave she was. I told her she was LOVE and that she was enough just the way she is. And even as I hit send, I was full aware, this reply was for me. It’s the message I am needing to receive myself.
It’s all smoke and mirrors, the messages we are sending. The emotions we think are for THEM, (anger, hate, annoyance, intolerance, jealousy…) let’s be clear, they say more about ourselves than anybody else.
Thank you friend. In sharing your heart with me you have brought me closer to myself. So much good comes when we simply share the stories of our lives.