re·la·tion·ship [ri-ley-shuhn-ship] noun
1. a connection, association, or involvement.
2. connection between persons by blood or marriage.
3. an emotional or other connection between people.
4. a sexual involvement; affair.
Being a mother, wife, lover, woman, friend… sometimes it’s hard. Maybe it’s just that by definition relationships are hard. Look above. The word connection is used in three of the four explanations of relationship and hey, connection isn’t always easy.
I opened the Bible on a day years ago when life and my relationships were getting the better of me. I was down and looking for some encouragement. I love to open certain books (the Bible being one of my favorites to do this with) to a random page and let where ever my finger falls speak to me. The words on which I land almost always knock me off my feet with the wisdom they hold. A word, passage or an entire page; on this day the message for me was contained in a single word.
This single word spoke volumes to my heart. I was on a family vacation with my husband and four young kids. The saying “where ever you go, there you are” could not more accurately describe my state of mind. Here I was with the ones I loved on an island off the coast of Georgia, near paradise, and yet my heart was heavy. I remember struggling at the time with balance. Questions about who I was a woman verse who I was as a wife and mother were stirring inside me.
Hmmm. Ephphatha. The morning after finding my word (and still not being exactly sure why) I rose early to take a walk. The word I had unearthed was working on me. What was this word and what key towards balance did it hold for me?
And then there on my walk, I saw it. The answers to my questions.
It was standing there in the form of a great, big, old majestic tree. Beautiful, stretched out in all it’s glory, but so alone.
It was then it hit me. I walked home, grabbed a piece of scrap paper and wrote down this poem.
Ephphatha (be opened)
A solitary oak left to grow alone.
Beautiful, symmetrical and glorious to behold, standing strong
in stark contrast to the wide open field around it,
where sunlight and water abound for it’s pleasures alone.
Open, yes, but to whom or what?
To itself and those that walk by to gaze upon it and admire?
But growing in connection with others,
interwoven and entwined, forced to bend and reach,
stretching out crocked limbs in search of light.
This makes an interesting tree.
Proximity necessitating flow, one in relationship to the other,
where light and water are shared and each delights in the beauty of the other.
Therein is the meaning. Therein the open heart.
If this day finds you with a heavy heart or if you are feeling the strain of relationship, may this poem bring you peace of mind for the journey. Write to me below and tell me what is stirring in your mama heart. Open a book and let me know where your finger falls and what truth this holds for you.
Suzanne Tucker, aka Zen Mommy hopes if you liked this article you will subscribe and/or join other mindful mamas here. To keep the lights on, Suzanne runs a holistic health center in St. Louis, Missouri with her husband Shawn. She is passionate about the connection we are and to that end offers Infant Massage, parent coaching and YogaParenting.