How to Respond to Birth Trauma

If your baby has experienced a traumatic birth, this can lead to further complications like difficulty breastfeeding or breathing issues. What can you do to help? (Video 2:39)

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How to Laugh

May this 59 second clip inspire you to lighten up… and GIGGLE your head off today. Laughter, it’s not only contagious, it’s good for the soul.

18 Weeks: Breastfeeding

Tell Me More – Tell Me More…

MY LITTLE SISTER had her baby at 3:33 a.m. this morning!!! It’s a girl and I am so excited for her and her husband. She called me from her hospital bed just now, 7 hours post birth… and we talked for all of 43 seconds. I got some important details… her JOY, how hard it was, how perfect her new baby is, how she looks alot like her dad, what time she was born and her beautiful new name, Audrey Elizabeth… and then, my blissful download of new baby information was cut short as I could hear the distraction in my sisters voice.

I imagined a helpful hospital person standing there waiting for me to stop gushing and for my sister to hang-up the phone. I was right. In the background I could hear a sweet and chipper lactation consultant introducing herself, “I came to introduce myself and to see how breastfeeding is going!” I wanted to hug this lady right then and there; to tell her to take good care of my baby sister. (I so want nursing to go well for her because SHE so wants it to.) But instead of a phone hug, hard with a complete stranger, I opted to get off the phone quickly. “Call me later! I love you!”" and with that, I let this eager to help lactation consultant have my sister all to herself.

It was not easy to stop the gushing mind you, so early in the game. I still know nothing about how the birth went other than it got an “OMG” when we started to talk. There’s so much my sis and I still need to talk about, but I remember this important first meeting with MY sweet and chipper lactation consultant in the hospital, and it was really helpful.

Virgin Breastfeed-er

In honor of my sister, her hours-old newborn baby girl and her sweet and chipper lactation consultant, I’d like to offer some Breastfeeding DO’s and DON’Ts for new-mamas-to-be:

DO:
Drink water like it’s going out of style. I recommend creating an unwritten policy with your hubby that if in the next month or so he catches you nursing, he will immediately get you a nice tall glass of water (without you even having to ask!). It never failed to happen to me. The second I’d hunker down with boppy and baby to nurse, the most incredible thirst of my life would sweep over me and of course, I’d never have a glass in arms reach!!@! It only took a week or two of me asking my hubby for water every time I sat to nurse, and he began to predict this need for me, getting me a glass without my having to ask; a prince to be sure. It might sound like a small thing, but for me it made a BIG difference. I felt like my husband was supporting OUR choice to breastfeed in this small way. Though I couldn’t just hand the baby over to him and say, “Here, it’s your turn to feed the baby!” I could enjoy a glass of nice fresh water without having to ask. :)

DON’T:
Start things off with a funny latch-on, like baby NOT getting enough of you into that tiny little baby mouth, or else it’s “hell-ooooo sore nipples!!@#!” I’m going to be honest with you, it’s pretty much ”hell-ooooo sore nipples” any way you slice it; just how sore is in question here. That said- breastfeeding has been one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done and is way worth the temporary discomfort. Just know, a certain amount of discomfort is normal, but get professional help early on and make sure your babies latch on isn’t adding insult to injury!

DO:
Swaddle your little bundle of joy so as to keep little baby fingers and hands from baby’s mouth while you are busy perfecting the perfect your (non-sore-nipple inducing) latch-on together. This takes team work and little hands in mouths just complicate matters. Swaddled, your baby will be all about the boob and get right down to business; exactly how we new nursing moms like it. *wink*

DON’T:
Wait for your baby to cry before nursing. When you start to see the “I’m hungry” body language (i.e. mouthing their hands or turning their head back and forth in search of your nipple; subtle, I know…) bring on the milk mama! You are working to establish your milk supply and your baby’s working on building trust for their very new surroundings (I do this, mommy does this…I like this new world!) It’s a perfect match. Besides, getting a hysterical baby to latch on properly? Not easy.

And finally…I like to end on a positive note:

DO:
Be confident. Breastfeeding is the most natural thing in the world. No worries of it makes your grandparents or in-laws a little nervous, they’ll get over it! Make good eye contact with people in the room even if they seem to be uncomfortable with nursing. This lets them know that it’s O.K. to look you in the face when they talk to you, even when you are nursing.

Well, those are my DO’s and DON’Ts anyway. For a more complete listing of breastfeeding tips go here and for a groovy printable breastfeeding log (which I highly recommend keeping for at least the first week) go here.

I wrote this for you, my little sister whom I LOVE so much… and for you, expectant moms out there planning on breastfeeding once your baby is born. It’s an awesome thing.

If you have breastfed or ARE breastfeeding and have a helpful tip or story, please share it with all us moms below. Or if you have any questions about breastfeeding, I’d love to hear those too! Now I’m going to go read-up some more about breastfeeding online and how the heck I’m going to nurse two babies! As thirsty as I was all the time nursing one, I might just have to buy myself a camelbak.

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32 Weeks : Other New Moms & Icing
31 Weeks : Newborn Baby Checklists
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24 Weeks : Cord Blood
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19 Weeks : Sleep
17 Weeks : Childbirth
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How Spirit Moves

Baby Watch is published in partnership with Kolcraft

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Suzanne Tucker, aka Zen Mommy
In addition to mommying to two magical girls born in 2000 and 2003, Suzanne co-owns a holistic health center with her husband Shawn in St. Louis, Missouri  where she practices as a physical therapist, Certified Infant Massage Instructor and health education teacher. Certified in a number of healing and life education approaches, Suzanne is a Co-creator of My Mommy Manual and the online parenting course, Yogi Parenting, a positive parenting approach for raising kids of all ages.

How to Recognize Warning Signs

Warning signs…if you’d asked me last night what these two little words conjured up in my head, I’d have said “A great song by Coldplay.”… but ask me this same question today and I’d have a different answer. ”Oh, you mean like those little red lights that showed up on my car’s dash yesterday that I ignored? The same ones that were there this morning (now four instead of two) just before my car conked out?” Yeah. Like THOSE warning signs. Read more

How to Tend to Baby’s Umbilical Cord

YES! Finally a parenting how to that is simple. This one doesn’t even require bullet points. Let’s sum it up into three easy to follow words: clean and dry. Keep the area clean and dry. That really is it. Want three other simple and easy to follow words on this? Less is more.

When I was a new mom we were told at great length how to swab the area 6x a day with alcohol swabs to keep it clean and dry it out. But this is no longer the sage advice from doctors and nursing. What they have found is that when left to its own devices, your babies’ umbilical cord knows what to do…much like you in conceiving, carrying and now nurturing your child when you a) trust that things can be simple b) you tell yourself you do know what you are doing and c) when you listen to your inner voice.

Some times less is more and things CAN be simple…even when it comes to being a parent. Let’s “remember the umbilical cord” the next time we are pulled to making much ado about something that really could be as easy as three little words…if we approach it that way.

 

How to Nurse Your Baby

There is a lot of information out there about latch ons, let downs, breast pumps, soreness, positioning and more…but how many articles on nursing prepare us as mothers to nurse our babies from more than a body perspective? What about readying our minds and our souls?

I was excited to nurse my baby…for the nutrition I knew it would offer…for the bonding and the closeness. I was hopeful nursing would work out without all the horror stories I had heard and read about including thrush, pain, chapped and sore nipples. My husband and I went to Bradley Method Birthing classes, held baby dolls in the cradle and the football hold…and I even attended a La Le Che League meeting or two. But when you come right down to it though, nothing I had read or heard prepared me for the absolute blessing nursing would be for me in my new life as mother.

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How to Live in the Yin and Yang of Life

Yesterday I was blue. Not dark blue…more like a gray, powder blue…like a light drizzle on an overcast winter day (which would actually describe yesterday’s weather). Does that ever happen to you? You just wake up and feel blue…no real cause for it that you can see. I looked to my heart for a sign that would tell me what the cause might be, but there was none. I got that it just was. I just was. Maybe you’ve felt this way too. A feeling shows up like an ache in your heart or a pang in the pit of your stomach. It’s always there somewhere in the body. For me it was a sadness that showed up like a lovely ache in my heart. It felt like an expansion. Like a good stretch to tight muscles taken right up to that edge between pleasure and pain.

Yesterday I was at that edge…stretching, holding, breathing and stretching some more. I wrote in my journal, “how can we all be so connected and yet feel the divide at times so deep within ourselves?”

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How to Be Here Now

My word of the year in 2008 was “present”…a worthy word of the year for just about anyone on the planet, but especially so if you are a parent to young children. As a word of the year, it served me well; mostly showing me how oh so NOT present I am.

It seems the pull towards busy-ness is especially strong in the parenting years of life, but maybe that’s just because that is where I find myself. We want so much to give our all to our children, yet at the same time to have a little piece of ourselves B.C. (before children) left over for ourselves. The truth is, it’s not an either or thing. We don’t really have to choose to give it all away OR to save some for ourselves. That is the really great thing about love; it begets itself. Read more

How to Give Your Newborn a Bath

When I had my first baby, I did everything “by the book.” My husband and I took the birthing classes at the hospital and signed up for the Baby Care 101 class too, where you were handed a life-size baby doll to practice bathing. In all honestly, I was nauseous the whole time and for some reason was completely turned off by this 20″ plastic naked baby so “daddy” took charge and it seemed very complicated. Read more

How to Connect to Your Baby…and Yourself

“How was your weekend?” “Fine. Thanks for asking. How about yours?” Pretty standard, right? I’ve said it. That’s just what people say on Monday. But today if you’d asked me this question over a cup of coffee, my answer would have been different. Not longer really, just different. How was it then you ask? In a word, it was “connected”.

It was one of those rare treats of a weekend. Dinner with my husband, drinks with a couple we hadn’t seen in years, a family BBQ in the backyard, complete with roasting marsh mellows (in the fire pit we bought 3 years ago that has seen about as much action as my bread maker…not much…), a “clothes swap” with 15 girl friends where we all picked through each other’s unwanted items over gooey butter cake, each leaving with an armful of free “new” clothes… and to top it off, a beautiful Sunday morning walk with my 5 year old daughter and our puppy Trixie. Sometimes “fine” just doesn’t cover it.

Sure, the laundry is insane, a tall pile of bills still sits here by my computer begging for attention and my dog isn’t quite there when it comes to being house broken (as I just discovered on the dining room rug). No, I did not fall off planet Earth into Bliss-ville. I’m still here, two feet planet firmly on the ground. But this past weekend and the sense of connection it left me with, spending time with friends, family…and myself, makes the other things feel just a little bit easier to accept today.

And so it is with our babies. How’s that for transition? You knew I was going to bring this back full circle to parenting didn’t you? But I cannot help but think that this is exactly how our babies feel when we give them our full attention. It is the thing I like best of all the many benefits infant massage…CONNECTION.

Connect Through Massage

Speaking as a mother that once tried to breastfeed and change her babies diaper at the same time, I know the need for support in slowing down to just be with our babies. Simply creating special time for massage with your little one does this. It will leave you and your baby feeling, in a word, “connected”.

If we are moving fast, sometimes we can forget how connected we really are in this life. As parents, our children help make this “A-PARENT” for us. It’s part of their job description. They help us slow down and remember. This week, I invite you to connect with your children in a very simple way through massage. I hope you enjoy this short little photo film I created to help inspire you to make massage a ritual in your family. Just click on the title that follows…“KNOW LOVE MASSAGE”.

So crank up the computer volume and get ready to feel that awesome feeling that we all want…for our children and for ourselves…connection. I’d love to hear from you if you already use massage with your children and what you and your children have gotten out of it. I hope you have a good week and that it’s better than fine!

 

 

 

 

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