First Pregnancy Miscarriage

This is a place for us to share our stories. Stories of miscarriage, stillbirth and early infant loss. Together we can loosen the grip of pain on our hearts. Together we can be hopeful.

The topic of miscarriage and infant loss is close to my heart. I’ve long wanted to make a place for us to share our stories. Because our stories are powerful. Our lives are not our own, they are for us to share. Every few weeks I’ll share a new video message with you from a mother who has experienced pregnancy loss. These stories are real and they are full of wisdom… and hope.

This week’s story comes from Carol. She has much to share with us about her experience with first pregnancy miscarriage six years ago. Her journey is a great reminder that miscarriage is not for a day, month, or even a year. It is an experience we carry for a lifetime. Yes, we can be happy again, but we will always carry that [Read more…]

How to Fall

I didn’t let people know the true depth of the hurt I was feeling after my first miscarriage. I let a few people in, but not many. My sadness seemed out of proportion to the amount of hurt I thought I was supposed to feel. In many ways, I just moved on. Hurting was hard. Moving on sounded like a better plan.

It took a lot to force my hand. Somewhere around miscarriage number four I guess you could say I “let go”. Life had me down on my knees and that was where I wanted to stay. Closer to the ground. Closer to spirit, to family. My perspective of life and the things that mattered were forever altered. I wasn’t in control and that was okay. Finally. That was okay.

It took me awhile to give myself permission to fall, but when I did, I fell into the arms of something greater than I ever could have imagined.

May this day find you holding on to letting go. Surrender to it. Lose control.

I wrote this poem years ago but it seemed right to share with you today.

SPIRIT

If I were to jump
Would you follow?

How is it
You are already there
On the valley floor
Arms outstretched
Ready to catch
What hasn’t even fallen?
——-

Suzanne Tucker, publisher of MyMommyManual.com and co-creator of YogaParenting, an online course helping parents create more joy and less stress in parenting.

How to Hurt

We all grieve in our own way. Add to that, there is no right or wrong way to grieve and you have two basic truth’s about grief that I discovered (and ultimately accepted) after much, much resistance.

My husband and I have had five miscarriages. A lot of living went into that simple sentence. Starting today, I am writing about my experiences with loss here on My Mommy Manual.

What I’m REALLY writing about is acceptance (or the lack there of) in my life. Acceptance. This is what life has been asking of me and teaching me all at the same time. Maybe you’ve had a miscarriage, or maybe you haven’t, but most likely you’ve experienced loss in one way or another.

As I write this we are grieving as a nation. Less than a week ago there was a tragic shooting spree in Tucson Arizona – six people killed and 13 injured. One of the dead includes a nine year old little girl. She was senselessly murdered, taken in a flash with no warning. Her parents will never tuck their daughter into bed again, never kiss her sweet forehead or hold her hand; denied even a last “I love you.”

We all hurt for this terrible, terrible tragedy. So many lives affected by one young man who picked up a gun and began to shoot. When unthinkable things happen, how do we find the strength to keep on living?

The following is an except from a book I am writing on acceptance and though it is written specifically for women healing through miscarriage, this conversation is for us all. I hope you’ll return weekly as we take this conversation to the next level. Ultimately, I’d like to add your insights to my book. Through our sharing, may we live ever more fully, a life of acceptance.

Here is the first section. Thank you for joining me in this, what I hope will be a dialog between us. I look forward to your comments.

NAMASTE

BEING WITH GRIEF

“Be gentle with yourself. Treat yourself like you would a best friend or a beloved sister. Go slowly. We’re almost always hardest on ourselves.

And if EVER, as you read this book and/or reflect on your life, you find you are beating yourself up, stop! See if instead of judging yourself for judging yourself, you can take a deep breath. Say these words aloud or in the silence of your mind, “We all grieve in our own way. There’s no right or wrong way to grieve.”

Can we find purpose and meaning in all things that happen in our lives?  Do gifts or blessings really ever come from challenging experiences?  Can we be happy even if the things happening in our lives are not? If so, how?

These are the questions I’d like to explore with you in the chapters (posts) to come.

By sharing my experiences with miscarriage, my many struggles with acceptance and ultimately, the blessings I have received along the way, may I be a support to you as you live, heal and take time to be with your life experiences as well.”

——-

Suzanne Tucker, publisher of MyMommyManual.com and co-creator of YogaParenting, an online course helping parents create more joy and less stress in parenting.

How to Share the Pain of Miscarriage and Grow

If you are human then you are WELCOME in this place. This is a safe place for us to join, share, vent, ask…and whatever else we feel like!

Topic: Miscarriage
Confession: I am not very good at asking for help… [Read more…]