“Where love is, so is transformation.

…because love is transformation, moment to moment.”

-J. Krishnamurti

We are now well into the second week of 2012. How’s your New Year’s resolution going? If you’ve all but given up on resolutions, you are not alone. Zen Mommy talks about why most resolutions leave us feeling guilty and looks at the difference between “change” and “transformation” with Carol on Great Day St. Louis.

Maybe you set a New Year’s resolution and are still rocking it; eating better, exercising more, clearing out the clutter that has somehow successfully taken over most every nook and cranny of one’s car, home and office since it was reined in, January of last year.

Maybe you set a resolution for 2012 and have already broken it. If that is the case you now get to decide, is it worth reviving?

Or maybe you resist the idea of resolutions all together. You’ve watched them come and go in years gone by, each time largely failing to truly help you reshape an area of your life that you hoped to change, alter or in some way improve, and this year you’ve just chosen out.

If you are in any one of the three above categories, I invite you to join me in setting an empowering resolution for yourself and your life for 2012. What will make it powerful? One simple word. Love. Creating our resolutions from a place of self love and acceptance verse change, i.e. wanting to make something better, more or different (which is where most resolutions come from) makes all the difference in the world.

Let’s look a bit closer at how this works.

Setting Powerful  Resolutions in Four Steps:

1) Write down your resolution.

It can relate to any area of life or be specific to parenting:

EXAMPLES:

• “I’m going to get more organized at home and/or work…”
• “I’m going to start exercising more”
• “I’m going to be more patient with my kids”

2) Now, take a moment and reread your resolution.

As you reread it, look for any negative beliefs you may hold that might be driving your resolution. What is behind your desire to change this area in your life? Many times, our desire for changes comes from an underlying feeling of not being enough.

EXAMPLES:

• “I’m going to get more organized at home and/or work…” (I am so unorganized – life is out of control – there are not enough hours in the day)
• “I’m going to start exercising more” (I am out of shape – I’m fat – I hate my body)
• “I’m going to be more patient” (I am a bad mom – I wish I was more like so-and-so – I’ve probably permanently screwed-up my kids)

3) Next, write down and re-read the negative belief(s) behind your resolution.

Realize that any resolution born from guilt, pain or fear will most certainly set you on a course for failure, leading to more guilt for eventually breaking your resolution. This step is very important.

Before you go to “change” any area of your self or your life, spend some time with it as it is. Breathe and see if you can let go of the story you’ve made it mean… the drama… and just be with the facts of the story. (Ex: The fact behind the negative belief “I’m fat and ugly” could be “I am 20 pounds over weight) Breathe.

Sit a moment with things exactly as they are without judgment. Accept them. Accept yourself exactly as you are right now. See if you can hold love present even as you think about this area of your life exactly as it is.

From this place, where love is present, you can create your life, not just react to it. From this place, where love is present, so too is transformation. If you feel this shift to love, move to step four. If you have any difficulty here and want to move deeper in transforming the negative belief you hold, there are some wonderful tools for forgiveness on this site by Dr. Michael Ryce that will assist you including his forgiveness worksheet that I invite you to check out.

4) Begin again.

Think about your resolution in new words, declaring what you would like to create in any area of your life by completing this sentence:

“The possibility I am creating for myself and in my life is _____________.

After going through this final step, the EXAMPLES from above might read instead like this:

• “The possibility I am creating for myself and in my life is structure and order.”
• “The possibility I am creating for myself and in my life is time for myself.
• “The possibility I am creating for myself and in my life is peace.”

Make sure to write what you are creating, not what you want to avoid, like “to not yell, to not eat bad foods…” If you are still saying what you DON’T want — that is exactly what you are going to get.

Use positive, creative words. Write them down. Post your new resolution all around you on sticky notes to remind you of it throughout the day. Say your resolution to yourself each morning you wake up and every night before you go to bed. The possibility you hold for yourself and your new year WILL begin showing up in your life.

Happy New Year!!! May 2012 be filled with joy, self-love and acceptance for you and your family.

I hope you will share this exercise with your kids. What a BEAUTIFUL gift for we as parents to give our children.

Transformation.

——————

Suzanne Tucker, aka Zen Mommy
In addition to mommying to two magical girls born in 2000 and 2003 and twins born in February of 2010, Suzanne co-owns a holistic health center with her husband Shawn in St. Louis, Missouri  where she practices as Certified Educator of  Infant Massage and health education teacher. Certified in a number of healing and life education approaches, Suzanne offers parent coaching and is the co-creator of the Yoga Parenting approach to positive parenting.

It’s a delicious and nutritious seasonal snack and it’s easy enough for kids to make almost entirely on their own! My daughter who is a HUGE fan of pumpkin seeds (especially if she made them…) teaches us how kids can whip up a batch in the kitchen. Recipe included in VIDEO (2:31).

Do your kids have a go-to recipe that they love for Halloween or Thanksgiving? Share it with us in the comments below. And give Reilly some props! She’s a natural!

This Halloween, keep it safe for sure… but also keep it FUN!

I’ll be discussing this topic live on Great Day St. Louis Monday, October 17th so be sure to leave YOUR thoughts, stories and tips below and I’ll pass them along!

Here are four simple tips to keep you and your kids smiling all monster mash night long.

1. Plan a few special fall family rituals / outings in the weeks leading up to Halloween.

Find one or a few you like and then repeat them annually with your family. This is what your kids will remember when they grow up.  Examples: buying and carving a pumpkin, making pumpkin seeds, making caramel apples, going on a hayride, etc.

2. Share stories from Halloween’s past with your kids.

Tell them about when you were little. What were your favorite costumes growing up? Favorite candy? Family traditions? Talk about how you dressed them up when they were babies!!!

3. Plan ahead.

Buy just what you need to get by this year and then STOCK UP on all the things you’ll need for future Halloweens the day after Halloween. Example: This year have flashlights, reflectors, costumes, pillowcases (the kids can decorate themselves to collect their goodies in) and candy to hand out. Then this year, come Nov 1st, go shopping for all the little extra’s you’ll need in Halloween’s yet to come like door hanging wreaths, pumpkin containers to collect candy in, costumes for your dress-up bin and decorations for your home inside and out. Believe me, pre-holiday, those special decorations can be pricey. By waiting and planning ahead for next year, you will save about 75% and in some cases more. Stores are literally GIVING THERE HALLOWEEN INVENTORY AWAY at this point. I got a few caps, hats and dresses years ago at Target for 90% off the ticket price and my kids are still playing with them four years later.

4. Keep the pressure off.

It might surprise you but for some kids, all this seemingly FUN Halloween prep can be stressful! Things like which costume to pick, which jokes to tell and HOW and going up to new homes with big people they don’t know (or don’t know well) can be a little worrisome. Talking about it ahead of time with your child might be all you need to do to take the stress out. Let them know there’s no right or wrong here. Focus on the F-U-N.

It’s easy to get wrapped up in all the things your neighbors are doing but remember, especially for young kids less is more. Pick a block in your neighborhood or a friend or family member’s neighborhood to visit. Another idea is to find a Trunk or Treat in your neighborhood by googling “Trunk or Treat” plus the city you live in and go there instead!!!

Happy Halloween!!! Please post pictures of your little goblins (this year AND from Halloween’s past!) to our My Mommy Manual Facebook wall!!! (You’ve found us there I hope, yes?!?! Come on over and “Like” us if you haven’t already!)

——————

Suzanne Tucker, aka Zen Mommy
In addition to mommying to two magical girls born in 2000 and 2003 and twins born in February of 2010, Suzanne co-owns a holistic health center with her husband Shawn in St. Louis, Missouri  where she practices as Certified Educator of  Infant Massage and health education teacher. Certified in a number of healing and life education approaches, Suzanne offers life coaching as Zen Mommy Coach and is the co-creator of the Yogi Parenting approach to positive parenting.

Much to this mom’s dismay, my 19 month old daughter climbed out of her crib after nap-time yesterday… and then I’m pretty sure lured her twin brother (4 minutes younger so there’s that!) to do the same. I walked in and my baby boy was sitting on the floor in front of his crib with a not so very happy look on his face saying “BOOM! BOOM!” Baby girl (can I still call them baby at 19 mo?) on the other hand was happy as a lark, walking around the room pulling blankets out of drawers, reveling in her new found freedom and POWER! ^_^

I set up the camera to catch her in the act. This is what I found.

Anyone else had a baby get out of the crib this early? My other two went 2.5 years before moving to big – girl – beds and never even attempted to climb out. Please share your creative thoughts on managing this. I’m all ears! Thus far, I’ve decided to lie down on the floor ’till I am certain my ‘lil Houdini has safely drifted off to slumberville. My boy ain’t in ANY hurry to throw himself over again, that’s for sure.

BOOM!!!

——-

Suzanne, aka Zen Mommy
In addition to mommy-ing to two magical girls born in 2000 and 2003 and twins born in February of 2010, Suzanne owns a holistic health center in St. Louis, Missouri where she practices as a physical therapist, Certified Infant Massage Instructor and Parent Coach.

I needed to be reminded by my own message today. Tune in. Trust.

Thank you spirit for this reminder that came in the form of a conversation with my friend Katharine — a loving mama (to a very lucky little five-months-old boy) who is navigating the sometimes crazy road of mothering an infant, seeking balance as she lives with sleepless nights  and the many questions we moms face as first time (heck, as ANYtime) moms. “Am I doing it right? What does my baby need? Am I a good mom?!?”…

My friend is a warrior because she is taking the spiritual path of motherhood ON. It’s not always an easy path, but what it lacks in ease it makes up for in soft baby kisses and looks of love that could charm the devil himself.

Here is what I am remembering today.

—-

Ok…where’s the manual??? How many of us have felt that way when we are first sent out of the hospital with our little bundle of joy held snuggly in our arms? It would be nice though. Just turn to page 3 on crying and you will see exactly what you need to do. Not sleeping? Please turn to page 12.

Well, this may be hard to believe, but our children do come with a manual. And we actually get a different one with each child, each manual as as unique as they are. And like all manuals, just because we are given the manual doesn’t mean we immediately have all the knowledge inside memorized just by holding it. No, we will actually have to READ the manual if it’s going to help us. Or in the case of the manual that comes with each child, we need to LISTEN to it. You see, this manual is called our intuition.

The hard thing about intuition and parenting is that so often, as new moms, we are clear about one thing…we know nothing!!! I know it feels that way. But I am here to tell you, and hear me loud and clear, “Yes you do!!!” If it feels like you were absent the day this thing called “a mother’s intuition” was handed out, relax. It might just be that you are standing there holding it in your hands, wishing you knew what it said inside, frustrated that you don’t. Hey, I got an idea. Let’s OPEN IT UP and let that information in!

Developing Your Intuition

Sound hard? It’s not. It can be as simple as taking a deep breath and asking yourself (silently in your head or people may start to wonder about you) what you want to know and then waiting for your body to give you the answer. What if your body gives you two answers you ask? No problem. Try them both on and see how they feel.

If, for instance, you are deciding whether or not to go grocery shopping now (with your child) or later (when your husband is home and you could go alone) try them on. Say the one option and feel what that feels like. Now say the second and get a sense of how that feels. Now for the moment of truth. If I were standing right there in front of you and quickly demanded to know which felt more “right”, what would you say? Quick! Now! Survey says? There is no right or wrong answer, just go with your gut. Yeah, your gut; that is so often where intuition lives.

And don’t get all crazy if you can’t solve the major issues over night. Was Rome built in a day? Did Mark McGwire stand over home plate and knock the first pitch ever throw at him at age 5 out of the ball park? No, probably not. And so it stands to reason that you too may need some practice here. Start with little issues and as you build confidence with your “inner knowing”, start to tackle the bigger ones. Do I give you peas or corn today for lunch? Corn, I think. Smile. Do I change your diaper now or after we get to mom’s house? Now, I think. Smile. Do we try to go to dinner while mom watches you for the first time? Yes. Smile. Are you ready to move from my bed to a co-sleeper by my bed so I can sleep better ’cause I’m so worried I’ll squish you? Yes. Smile.

Okay, and now you are ready for the big leagues. Keep this up and by age 3 you will be tackling, “Do I put you in time out or take a deep breath and smile and ask you to do what I was hoping for you to do…again?” You breathe and smile. Hurray…your tot listened! And then the World Series. You sweet little baby is now 13 and you have ever so many different issues to manage. Breathe, tune in and act.

Intuition. You have it. I promise. Of course it’s still okay to ask other moms, to read all the parenting books or what everyone is saying on mymommymanual.com; but in the end, it’s your intuition that will tell you if what you read or hear is right for you and for your child. Use it, and it will grow as surely as your child will.

You have your child’s parenting manual. It’s right there within you. Tune into it. Trust it. Open yourself up to the powerful messages it has for you and let it guide you.

Local volunteer community organizers came together in 2009 to support the first reading of the play, Birth, by Karen Brody in St. Louis. Then, in 2010, volunteer organizers and sponsors built on their former success and hosted the first ever local full production of the play. Watch the 2010 cast in this inspiring short film of the play by RaileeProductions:

Plans for 2011 include another full production of the play, Birth, on August 28th, 2011 at the Tap Room in downtown St. Louis! Click here for more information on how you and/or your organization can get involved!

Karen Brody wrote Birth after interviewing 118 women across America about their birth stories. The play tells the story of eight of those women, representing the spectrum of experience among low-risk, educated, birthing women in the US today. Each performance is followed by a talk-back, giving audience members a chance to discuss pertinent issues from the play.

BOLD, initially called Birth On Labor Day, was founded in 2006 by playwright Karen Brody. Brody offered cities around the world the opportunity to perform her documentary-style play called Birth as part of BOLD. Her goal was to use the play to “make maternity mother-friendly.” Well-known women’s health expert Dr. Christiane Northrup called the play  Birth, “The Vagina Monologues for birth,” a label it has lived up to through BOLD.

BOLD runs three core programs: Performance and Talkbacks of the play Birth, Red Tents events, and the College Campaign. BOLD programs raise awareness and money in local communities to improve childbirth choices for mothers and have raised over $115,000 to date. This grassroots initiative reaches over 20,000+ women, men, children and families (and growing!) every year through local events like ours. For more details on the play and the national event, please visit the national BOLD web site at www.boldaction.org

It’s the middle of the summer! If your family is like mine, we’ve taken a trip, the kids have done camp, and we’ve hit all the local attractions. But there are still six weeks before school starts so… what now?

NOTHING! Seriously… I’m giving up the guilt about not having an activity planned for them. My kids are actually looking forward to some days when we can just lounge around and sleep in. I feel validated in my decision to UnPlan when I stumbled on an American Academy of Pediatrics report that says that free and unstructured play is healthy and actually essential for kids’ social, emotional and cognitive growth.

It seems like overnight, I’ve turned into The Soccer Mom, with my kids playing year round soccer. And along with all their other summer interests — tennis, swimming, drama camp,  it doesn’t leave many opportunities to just lay around. It’s a trade off because they get to do some fun stuff but that means that many days are carefully planned and orchestrated. And it can be stressful.

The times that I’m short with the kids and when we butt heads are when we are rushing out the door trying to get somewhere by a certain time. We all crave those mornings when we can sleep in as long as we want… and in our house, that can be as late as 10am! But then again, when you have free and unplanned time, there’s always the risk of your kids insistent refrain throughout the day… Mommy, I’m boooooored!”

I’m on Great Day St. Louis today sharing some ideas on what to do when that happens. One of my tips: making sure you are stocked with art supplies and fun ways that the kids can express themselves. In our house, we have an Art Wall and the kids have spent hours doodling on it. I use a strip of Frames wallpaper applied with double-sided tape. When it’s full, I just take it down and add a new strip!

For more ideas, join us today at 10am CST on KMOV’s Great Day St Louis. It’s gonna be fun!

Safe Summer Fun in the Water:

Summer’s a great time to sign the kids up for swimming lessons, not only because it’s fun… but because it’s the safe thing to do. And let’s face it, many of our kids spend enough time poolside in June, July and August to grow gills. So it seemed a timely topic to learn more about. How can we make playing in the water this summer both fun and safe? I asked “Coach Ruthie” of Little Fishes Swim School in St. Louis, Missouri for some pointers and here’s what I took away. These tips are important for parents/kids of all ages but seemed particularly important for parents of preschool aged children and younger.

And for our local Saint Louis, Missouri moms, My Mommy Manual is hosting a playdate for parents and their babies/toddlers from 6 months of age on up at the Little Fishes Swim School this week. It’s FREE for members of our local playgroup. Interested? Join here and then RSVP on the group’s Meetup calendar. It’s indoors in 90 degree salt water and your kids are sure to have a blast.

1) Supervise Children near water:

It is sooooo important that we as parents understand that multi-tasking and the pool do NOT go hand in hand. In today’s fast-paced world, it can get easy to think doing three things at once isn’t too much at all. Wrong. Not when we are talking about water and kids, If the kids are swimming as a group at the pool or lake and there are multiple adults around, it’s easy to think someone else is on “duty”. Instead of assuming, actually talk about which adult is responsible for watching the kids. Take turns/shifts, or better yet, if you are having a party, actually hire a lifeguard to supervise the kids through area businesses like www.Backyard-Lifeguards.com so you can keep your focus on hosting knowing the kids are safe.

2) Invest in a US Coast Guard-approved life vest.

Should supervision lapse, only a real life vest will keep a child from submerging. Air-filled or foam flotation aids are NOT appropriate substitutes. I know… the kids love their arm floaty things. My little guys are just about 18 months old and love their little boats. And then there are noodles, puddle jumpers… the list of fun water options is long and grows each summer it seems. These are are fun and fine for water play, but the important thing to remember is they are no replacement for a potentially life saving vest. And even a vest is no substitute for adult supervision. 

3)    Enroll your child in swim lessons:
Parents are taking lessons with their kids as early as 6 months of age and this is a good thing. The National Institutes of Health says that providing very young children with swimming lessons appears to have a protective effect in keeping them safe and preventing drowning.

Things to look for in a class are 1) small groups or even one on one lessons 2) warm water ( 90 degrees) and salt water is a plus for sensitive skin and lungs  3) indoor classes are a plus as then weather/sun/sunscreen become non-issues – and as a bonus, you can take them all year long. 4) And finally, look to see what level of training or certification the instructors have.

I hope these tips inspire you to take water play seriously in terms of keeping your family safe as you have a BLAST splashing and swimming this summer.

Watch Zen Mommy share her water safety tips with our TV viewers (after the Cars 2 segment on Great Day St. Louis) and St. Louis Moms, don’t forget to sign up for our free Meetup on June 22 at Little Fishes Swim School!

____

Suzanne Tucker, aka Zen Mommy

In addition to mommy-ing to two magical girls and twins born in 2010, Suzanne co-owns a holistic health center with her husband Shawn in St. Louis, Missouri where she practices as a physical therapist, Certified Educator of Infant Massage and health education teacher. Suzanne is the Co-creator of My Mommy Manual and the online parenting course, Yoga Parenting.

We have never seen so many adorable babies. Although it was very, very tough, the 15 Finalists have been selected. Each of them will go home from the Baby Kid Expo in St. Charles Missouri on April 30 with their very own Kolcraft Wonderbug Activity Center!!!

The Grand Prize:

But the title of Cutest Baby can only be awarded to one — and YOU will decide. Vote and whoever has the most votes will also receive a gift basket ($250 value) with goodies from http://www.snapstories.com, a photography package from http://www.treasuredpicks.com/ AND will be featured in the 2012 Baby Kid Expo ad campaign. You can only vote once but tell all your friends and family to get in on the fun and support your favorite.

How to Vote:

Visit the My Mommy Manual Facebook page and “Like” it — then click on the Contest Survey link either on our wall or here and VOTE. It’s that simple. (It’s picking just ONE of these cuties that will be the hard part.)

We will be at the My Mommy Manual booth all day, Saturday, April 30th from 9 am to 4 pm at the Baby Kid Expo and would love for you to come by and say hi to Ria and I!!! We have even MORE goodies to give away to our friends that do AND we’ll announce the winner of the Cutest Baby Contest LIVE on stage at the Expo at 2:45 pm so be sure to stick around!

Cutie Pies!!!

Here are our 15 Finalists! Follow the instructions above and vote for your favorite.

RELATED ARTICLES:

Cutest Baby Contest

Come See Us! Baby Kid Expo

Well, there are million and one things to do to get ready… just ask Zen Mommy. She did it times two!

If you are in St. Louis on April 30, join us at the Baby Kid Expo. Why?
1) Because we will be there with our friends at Kolcraft, giving away tons of great new baby products including… drum roll please… the new WonderBug Activity Center.
2) Because your baby could be the winner of the MMM/Baby Kid Expo Cutest Baby Contest!
What? You haven’t entered yet? What are you waiting for? Entries are due April 20 and then the voting begins! Click here for details.
3) There are TONS of activities for the whole family and it’s FREE!