Archives for November 2013

Average Is Not What Your Baby Needs

 

 

If you look up baby sleep requirements in a parenting book, you will likely find a table like this:

Total sleep time required over a 24-hour period

• Newborn…….16-17 hours

• 1-6 months….15-16 hours

• 6-12 months…14 hours

• 1-2 years…..13-14 hours

What they don’t tell you is that baby sleep researchers are forced to base their estimates of average sleep requirements on “best guesses” and that baby sleep norms vary greatly from culture to culture, study to study.

A little know sleep tip: average is not what your baby needs.

  

Now don’t get me wrong, these “best guesses” can be very helpful. They can feel reassuring and they can help flag some of the many other issues that could be altering your baby’s sleep (the true issue needing attention) like Reflux. Digestion. Constitution. Gas. Colic. Tongue Tie. A high palate. An improper latch. Milk supply. And so on, and so on. Here’s the deal.  Norms and charts are all fine and good if you:

1) take them for what they are, averages based upon the limited data collected in order to make the assessment (not your child)

2) are NOT dealing with sleep problems.

If you are dealing with sleep problems, worries and/or big concerns about your baby’s health, it’s time to dig deeper.

My advice to parents is this: read the studies, look at the charts, ask your best friend and neighbor… and then let ALL the information you collect filter down through you. Your higher self. Your mommy intuition and wisdom.

You know your child. You know your family. You and only you are uniquely connected to this little one because YOU are MOM or co-mom or dad or maybe even Grandma. Your title, age or even your male or female-ness do not matter. If you are this one’s mother, you know it. Step into your mommy intuition. Your love and connection to this child gives you a degree no one else in the world holds. Not the researchers. Not the sleep coaches. Not even your mother in law.

This may sound hypocritical given I am a sleep consultant. But it is not. My role might be better understood if I went by Suzanne Tucker, Baby Sleep Intuition Supporter or Suzanne Tucker, Mommy Listener/Cheerleader Such That Baby Sleeps.

Because here’s the thing.

There is no manual, except the one that exists within you. Not on baby sleep. Not on potty training. Not on where to send your child to school or how to love them best.

Open yourself to your mommy intuition to guide you as you take in sleep data… or any data. What is relevant to you will make itself known. Watch for the sparks — an inner “knowing” from somewhere deep inside yourself that says, “Yes!!! This is important for my child.” or “That’s what I thought!!!” or maybe “This is worth a try. It feels right for me/my baby.”

Here is an example of how easy it is to misread research and worry because you fear your baby is not fitting into the “mold”.

Imagine you have a one month old baby who sleeps 12.5 hours per day. They are happy. They are gaining weight. You are in a grove and no it’s not easy but yes, you genuinely feel your baby is thriving. UNTIL your best friend (or doctor or mother in law or someone else) tells you they are not. They tell you your baby “should” be sleeping more. That the books say 16 hours is normal. They have you worried, but do you have cause to worry?

Let’s take a close look at the data behind the averages behind the charts in the books, for example, this study, one of the most complete baby sleep charts, published in the highly respected medical journal, Pediatrics, based on the average sleep times associated with 493 Swiss children tracked from birth (Iglowstein et al 2003). Over a 24-hour period, total sleep time averages were as follows:

Baby Sleep Chart and Averages. Be careful how you read them. As far as baby is concerned, average is over rated.

Or said another way, the average total sleep time for 493 Swiss one month old babies worked out to be between 14-15 hours. One hour less than what your friend told you was “normal”. But look closer. Only 50% of the babies actually got between 13-16 hours. ONLY 50%!!!!! 96% got between 9-19 hours. Let me put it to you visually:

Average is not what your baby needs. Baby sleep charts. Be careful how you read them.

Never give your power away.

Never. There’s a lot of information out there, but it is worthless without you and your mommy intuition filter to make sense of it all. You are this one’s mom and this is not a thing to be taken lightly. Step into your power. Listen with all of your senses. Your baby is talking to you. Source support. Quiet your mind. Follow your heart. Average is not what your baby needs. You are.

xo

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When we follow our bliss, tune in and trust, anything and everything is possible. I hope you walk with me and other moms here because everything is BETTER when we are holding hands. Let’s share on twitterfacebook and pinterest too because the manual is ours to write but we don’t have to write it alone!!!

Related Articles:

Infant Massage for Colic 

Gentle Baby Sleep Support

Babywearing

References:

Iglowstein I, Jenni OG, Molinari L, Largo RH. 2003. Sleep duration from infancy to adolescence: Reference values and generational trends. Pediatrics 111(2): 302-307.

The Days Are Long But The Years Are Short

 

 

To have this simple truth take hold of you somewhere deep inside your soul when your children are still small is the greatest wish I could wish for you.

This moment. This hard moment. This perfect moment. This is it.

Today, just for one minute, make an intentional effort to see the world around you through the eyes of your child. They see so much. They have so much to teach us.

xo

days long years short

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When we tune in and trust, everything is possible. I hope you’ll walk with me and other moms here because mommy-hood is BETTER when we’re holding hands. Let’s connect, here and on twitterfacebook and pinterest too. The manual is ours to write but we don’t have to write it alone. xo

 

 

There Are No Words

What does this say to you?

For me it is the wordless definition of connection. A sweet, sweet moment (I’d go so far as to say a sacred moment) of acceptance, love and peace.

This blissful state is the same space I see babes of all ages (especially newborns) moving into when they receive massage from their moms and dads. Babes, basking in the love held in a simple, shared present  moment. Love held in stillness and in touch.

Giving and receiving. Being. Connection.

xo

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When we follow our bliss, tune in and trust, anything and everything is possible. I hope you walk with me and other moms here because everything is BETTER when we are holding hands. Let’s share on twitterfacebook and pinterest too because the manual is ours to write but we don’t have to write it alone!!!

Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Musical

Win four FREE tickets to Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Musical on November 18th in St. Louis!!!

Alvin 300x250

Have you known me to run many-a-giveaway here?

No.

Why? Because usually I’m getting hit up by big companies wanting to pass on things that make no sense with my site or my mission of inspiring connection. Over the years I’ve been hit up by many an off-brand offer to pass on to you, offers I promptly delete.

But then a young lady from Chaifetz Arena emailed me and asked if I might let my community know about their upcoming show: Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Musical. She was straight forward, kind, and my immediate response? HECK YES! (even before she offered me tickets to do so).

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Why this immediate yes? Because all my kids, ages 5 to 15, love Alvin and the Chipmunks.

Because I love Alvin and the Chipmunks.

Because even my husband likes Alvin and the Chipmunks (tolerates might be the word he’d use, but as much as he despises other kid shows/movies, etc, this is still saying a lot…).

So yes, I said yes, and now here you go. You can thank me later. I hope you win.

Plus, you can save big on buying tickets with code GSG: $10 off select seats to the 4pm show or $5 off select seats to the 7pm show.

TICKET LINK: Check it out. From what I can tell, ticket prices range from $9 to $56.

The world’s most famous chipmunk trio – accompanied by the Chipettes – will delight fans of all ages with LIVE performances that will feature world-class production, music, special effects, and immersive interactivity to encourage audience participation.

Based on the characters from the hit Twentieth Century Fox movies, the show will bring the music and excitement of a live rock concert to life as the Chipmunks perform hits by One Direction, Maroon 5, Carly Rae Jespen, Elvis Presley and more! Join Alvin, Simon and Theodore as they sing and dance their way across America en route to their big charity concert.  From an “old school” breakdancing competition in Chicago, to a no-holds-barred food ?ght in New York City, and with the Chipettes along for the wild ride, Chipmunk fans from coast to coast will experience it all –LIVE on stage!

 

Rock on mamas. I hope you’ll be connecting with your kids come November 18th with the silly fun that is this crazy chipmunk trio. I’m going thanks to Chaifetz and look forward to sitting with/near whichever of you is the big winner!

xo

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Support for the journey.  The manual is ours to write but we don’t have to write it alone. Let’s connect on twitterfacebook and pinterest too.