Archives for March 2012

How To Love Your Demons

Invite Them to Lunch


I said to a friend the other day, “I’m having my demons over for lunch. Would you and yours care to join me?”

I figure if I’ve got them, demons I mean… and I do, I might as well get to know them better. My friend couldn’t make lunch that day, but it sparked a great conversation and ultimately led to this post.

All this focus on examining my demons started after a soul searching night spent listening to Paul Coutinho speak in St. Louis, Missouri. Paul is an incredible speaker, the author of How Big is Your God, Just As You Are… and lucky for me, spends half his time in his homeland of India and the other half teaching theology at St. Louis University.

What was the topic of his talk you ask? For me, it was all about l-o-v-e. Paul shared a number of compelling ideas, but the part of his talk that intrigued me the most was when he encouraged us to make friends with our demons.

On this night, I had an ah-ha moment. In his simple way, Paul’s words brought home to me the idea that we, each of us, are mystics NOT in our strengths… but in our weaknesses. [Read more…]

The Hardest Thing About Divorce

… is that it’s one of those topics no one wants to talk about — like Suzanne’s miscarriages, like Heidi’s Postpartum Depression (or any sort of depression). It’s hidden under shame. It’s filed under F for failure. It’s a blemish on your permanent record — broken marriage, broken family, broken home.

Here I am, a blogger, writing and sharing for and with other moms for the last three years and not once have I addressed the subject of my divorce directly! I’ve often thought that I don’t want to use this space to throw myself a big pity party but instead, focus on the ways that my experiences can be helpful to other moms. For this reason, I’ve shied away from the subject, because I just didn’t trust myself to bring both honestly and growth to it until now. And to be honest, there were times when either the circumstances or the things I learned about myself through them were just too raw and painful. [Read more…]

How Parenting Helps Me Grow

There is nothing like parenting to hold that mirror up to a grown person’s face (to my face, to your face…) and show us where we get to grow. Apparently I get to grow in patience and acceptance because these two keep showing up in my dang mirror. They were there yesterday, staring out at me. I recognized them right away.

My eight year old walked into the living room and saw it first. Instead of screaming at the horror she alone was witnessing (which, thinking back to being eight, could have been a fun thing to do) she ran to find me in the kitchen and broke it to me gently.

With big eyes and a shocked look on her face she said, “Mom, you are NOT going to like this.” She paused for dramatic effect. I froze and braced myself for impact.

“You are really going to freak out.”
[Read more…]