Archives for August 2010

How to Get Your Child to Open Up

“So Mom, do you want to play this game with me? You go first with the ‘I feel…’ part.”

“Okay…,” said distracted me to my eight-year-old daughter, who had been wanting to play a game. “I feel like eating ice cream.”

“I feel sad when my dad lies to me.”

Whoa. I stopped doing the dishes, while emptying the dishwasher, while making lunch, while cleaning off the counter, while changing the trash bag. We were playing a game, weren’t we?

Seeing the look on my face, my daughter said, ”Want me to read the instructions again?” And she continued without pause: “Talking about feelings hurts no one. If I say,’ I am angry,’ that doesn’t hurt you. If I say,’I am lonely,’ that lets you know me better. The secret is to start by saying, ’I think, I feel, I want.’ Ready Mom?”

I nodded.

But let me back up.

My daughter had gone to my desk in my pseudo-office in our living room. On it, she went to the *stack* of books (er…eight of them now) I am committed to doing reviews on. And she gravitated towards Liking Myself by Pat Palmer.

In case you are new to my single mom world, the summary is that her dad enjoys talking about me constantly when she is over there. It’s been almost seven years since my divorce and guess who was just in court again? Yes, me. This is one tumultuous divorce that keeps on giving.

“Okay mom, I’ll go again – but why don’t you come sit here with me? Ready?”

I nodded. Again.

And my little lovely says,” I want my mom to stop worrying about me.” Umm…okay? I can’t? I know you have it tough over there – so I’ll try not to? I pause for an eternity. [Read more…]

How to Design Your Nursery

One of the added perks of expecting a new member of the family is designing that very precious nursery. For me, that was really fun! During my visit with Corey Goellner, owner of Goodnite Rooms, she shared the latest trends in nursery design.

Makes me want to do it all over again! Well, the nursery… not so much the pregnancy/baby part! 😉 [Read more…]

Zen Mommy Minute: Skinned Knees Rock

It is important to allow our children to fail. To fall down. To be disappointed. Sound harsh? Believe it or not, it actually helps our kids build self-esteem and self confidence when we refrain from “saving” them from life.

It also helps our children grow when they see us modeling acceptance in the midst of our own “not-perfect” moments. Example: You arrive 10 minutes late to school pick up and as they climb in the car you say, “I’m sorry I’m late for pickup today guys! How was your day?” with a smile instead of modeling GUILT with something like “I am soooooooo soooooorry I’m late. I feel so bad. I thought I could get another errand done in time. That was so stupid of me. Man. I hate when I do that…” or something to that effect.

When we swoop in and fix things for our kids before they get to experience the consequences of their own less than perfect moments (forgotten lunches, unsigned permission slips, messy rooms with laundry that needs to be thrown down or risk missing laundry day, etc) we are actually doing our kids a disservice, keeping them from a potential lesson in self love and what it takes to “be with” imperfection and disappointments.

What do you do when your child leaves his or her lunch/homework/gym shorts at home??!?!!

Do you remember being a kid and learning from life when it gave you a skinned knee or two?

I’d love to hear about how this topic of skinned knees (and their many blessings) lives for you.

 

xo

PS: If you liked this post, join our community of mindful mamas and receive a free gift, a Hug Each Moment Kit via email today along with weekly positive parenting tips and inspirations direct to your inbox.

Inspiration and support for the journey of motherhood.  The manual is ours to write but we don’t have to write it alone! Let’s connect on twitterfacebook and pinterest too. xoxo

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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33 Weeks: The Karate Kid

Those little nudges in my belly that I thought were so cute have grown into full blown karate chops! Skittles almost took me out twice today during the newscast.

Thank goodness I wasn’t on camera when it happened because it had me doubled over in pain.  Can’t get mad at the kid though. Just 30 minutes before I was worried because I hadn’t felt him in several hours.

The Mom is Born Virtual Shower was yesterday! It was so much fun.

Look how I was greeted when I rolled up to Overlook Farm in Clarksville, MO.

The shower was held in one of the cottages on the 200 acre grounds.

The chefs and director went all out with the “R” because they know Skittles real name begins with an R.

They served Skittles and even made personalized sugar cookies. One read “Skittles” another “Bama Baby.”

And my mother in law Lynn, sister in law Christy and close friend Jill all came to participate in the Holding Hands bracelet ceremony. My good friend Afton from Channel 4 was there as well as friends Jill and Christy, all three of which who are pregnant, too.

The Holding Hands ceremony was so touching! Now we each have a birthing bracelet with beads that represent each other. Mine also has one from my mother in law, sister and mother and Zen Mommy and Practical Mommy. I will wear it into the delivery room so I can remember each of them and what their beads symbolize.

The online shower was so fun and such an eye opener.  I could not believe 1200 people logged on and watched. I want to say thank you to the viewers and all the sponsors for the donations to the March of Dimes. You all helped raise more than $6500!!!!

Here’s a clip from the shower, if you couldn’t watch.

Until next time…seven weeks to go!!!!!! Seven weeks of duke it out in my belly!

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Virginia Kerr is a morning news anchor on News 4. You can watch her Monday – Friday from 5AM to 7AM.

Table Manners

Still Learning No Feet on the Table ;)

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For more cute-school pictures, go to our Huggable Moments Gallery. [Read more…]

How to Share the Pain of Miscarriage and Grow

If you are human then you are WELCOME in this place. This is a safe place for us to join, share, vent, ask…and whatever else we feel like!

Topic: Miscarriage
Confession: I am not very good at asking for help… [Read more…]

How to Bathe your Baby – EASILY

I’ve given no less than two thousand baths to my kiddos, and somewhere around six hundred of them (and counting as I have twin six month olds!) were to a baby. Does that make me a bathing baby expert? Maybe or maybe not, but it does mean I have strong opinions about what works and what doesn’t.

The little visor I bought for my first to wear so I could pour water over her head and not get soap in her eyes? Nice idea but so didn’t work. The little ducky that turns colors to tell me if I have the bath temperature right? So works. This little item has saved me more times than I’d  like to admit. Apparently I like my baths warm.

And then there’s the Puj Tub, a bath item that is helpful on many levels. Advertised as a “Soft infant bath for smart parents” the Puj Tub delivers. I received a sample tub to review and now it’s my go-to gift for my new parent friends. Check out my video review above for details on this hot little item that will make your friends say “I’ve never seen anything like it!”

What is your favorite baby bath-time list? Share your tips to make bathing baby easier and bath-time products you couldn’t (or wouldn’t WANT to) live without in the comment section below.

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Suzanne Tucker, aka Zen Mommy

In addition to mommying to two magical girls born in 2000 and 2003 and twins born February 1st, 2010, Suzanne co-owns a holistic health center with her husband Shawn in St. Louis, Missouri where she practices as a physical therapist, Certified Educator of  Infant Massage and health education teacher. Suzanne is the Co-creator of My Mommy Manual and the online parenting course, Yoga Parenting.

Related Articles:
How to Give Your Newborn A Bath
How Much Does It Cost to Have a Kid?

How To Let Go of Your Favorite Pair of Jeans

Well, I did it. I can’t believe it either … but it’s true. And I am proud of myself for having the ability to let go. If I can do it, you can to.

I’m talking about my favorite pair of jeans, Goldsign Desire. I bought them in 2004. They were my first pair of, what was considered back then, expensive jeans. I loved them. Too much, evidently. For the last three years, the holes worn in them were unrepairable. So, I wore tunics and shirt dresses over them.

Why didn’t I just buy a new pair? My Goldsign Desires became extinct … discontinued. How sad is that!

For the last six months, I knew it was time to part. I couldn’t bare to throw them away. Until now. The more I thought about it, the more excited I was to take on the challenge and begin the journey to find a new pair of ‘it’ jeans (a very tall task, I might add). It might take me a few years to find a replacement (I liken jeans shopping to bathing suit shopping — painful), but I am determined. And with fall just around the corner, there should be a decent selection to get me started.

This sort of thing can happen to anyone. My recommendation, when it’s love at first site and you’re unsure of when you must part, buy 2 pairs!

Au revoir le jeans. You will be missed.

by Expert Mommy, Catherine Horgan

How to Celebrate the Sisterhood of Mommy-hood

The Holding Hands Bracelet Collection
The Holding Hands bracelet is an exclusive My Mommy Manual piece, representing the strength moms source from each other. Each hand-crafted glass bead bears the symbol of two hands clasping. It’s a reminder that life is more fun when we’re holding hands!

It is a touching shower gift for an expecting mom because the charm bracelet is designed for each guest to add their own symbolic wishes for the celebrant as she crosses the threshold into mommy-hood.

It is also a wonderful gift for any mom — gift it to your friends who drove your older kids to school after your youngest was born, or to the best friend who takes your kids when the babysitter cancels at the last minute. This bracelet is forever a tangible reminder of the strength in our shared experiences as moms.

The bracelets are sterling silver bangle or silver-plated or snake chain.

Now only $27-39

A portion of your purchase benefits our woman- and child-focused non-profit partners.

Watch the broadcast from A Mom Is Born, the virtual baby shower in which as we hosted a Holding Hands Ceremony for KMOV news anchor and expecting mom, Virginia Kerr. We shared Holding Hands bracelets and wishes. We chatted live with 1,198 viewers AND we raised over $6500 for the March of Dimes.

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The Holding Hands Ceremony
You can host your own Holding Hands Ceremony! It is a powerful, tangible ritual, representing our bond as moms — but as you can see in the video, be prepared with tissues!

A. When to Celebrate a Holding Hands Ceremony
Baby Showers
Christenings and Namings
Mothers Day
Birthdays
Christmas/Hannukah
Thanksgiving
Valentine’s Day
Anniversaries
Any joyful or challenging milestones/events

Long before baby showers, from the Celts to the Navajos, a common ritual took place that honors a mother-to-be. Commonly called a Blessingway, it is a gathering of women who support each other, not just during birth but also through the natural transitions of life, who believe in a woman’s innate strength as a mom, and keeps her in their thoughts and prayers.

We believe that birth signifies new life, not just for the baby but for the woman. Just as a baby is crossing a threshold from the warm and secure womb into the great unknown, a woman crosses from the life she has known thus far to a whole new world. The circle of women that surround her, many  who have gone before her — give her community, a sense of connection to other women, and the strength that comes when we hold hands.

B. Who Can Participate
Anyone who is important to the celebrant can be included — especially her women friends.

Convenient Supplies
• pens
• ribbon
• a printout of the Holding Hands Gift Card (comes with purchase of bracelet)
• as many printouts of  the WISHES printable file as there are guests (free download with purchase)
• cameras and video recorders
• lots o’ tissue!

C. What to Do
1) Buy a Holding Hands bracelet.
A portion of your $27 purchase will go to one of our woman- and child-focused charity partners. Please allow 2-5 days for delivery within the continental U.S.

2) Invitations
Invite each guest to bring a bead and their wish for the celebrant. If invitations are being sent in the mail, include a printout of WISHES that each guest can fill out beforehand and bring to the event.

Also include this convenient list of online retailers that carry Pandora-style (large, 4-5mm hole size) beads and charms. Many national jewelers carry them too, like Helzberg and Hannoush. You may wish to add stores in your area.

St. Louis Beads on Etsy

Pandora

Goody Beads

Clotho Charm Club

Amazon

If you are sending electronic invitations, include the links to retailers in your message and add the WISHES file as an attachment.

4) Ceremony

• Plan about 5 minutes during your gathering for each person to present their Wish.
• Make sure that each guest signs the gift card.
• Find an area where everyone can assemble and be comfortable. Have lots of tissues handy! :)
• The host(s) can gather the party together and explain what will happen next.
• Each guest will now present their bead and the significance of why she chose it for her friend.

For an expecting mom, each bead will remind her of the woman who gave it to her, and who holds her in thoughts during labor and delivery.

• As each guest presents her bead and wish, it is added to the Holding Hands bracelet.
• After all the wishes are read out loud, the collection of wishes can be rolled and tied with ribbon as a keepsake for the celebrant.

32 Weeks: Focused

First of all, thank you so much for all the great hospital bag suggestions. They are all so helpful. Things I didn’t think of that you guys did: personal pillow, thick socks, granny panties, pads, pajamas you don’t mind getting dirty, sour hard candies, boppy pillow and a draft email.

The draft email came from Zen Mommy.  She suggests you write up your birth announcement email and copy all the people you want to send it to ahead of time so all you have to do is upload the baby’s picture and include the name once you’re at the hospital. Genius!

I just feel focused now. Organizing the baby’s room. Washing baby clothes.

I find myself talking about Skittles all the time.. I think I’m annoying. At least, I think my husband may thinks so.

He doesn’t say anything but I catch myself only talking about the baby when I see him.  I usually just talk about how he’s moving or how he knows Jason’s voice or how I am worried the kids is going to get lost in the corn field behind our house or never come in the house because he is obsessed with the outdoors like Jason or how his hair is my property until at least grade school–(If Jason is in charge of the haircuts, that  kid will have his head buzzed the minute his hair is the length of a grain of rice)

Ha! Jason’s mom gave us some argyle, baby leg warmers the other day.

They look like these.

You should have seen his face.  I knew by that expression that those leg warmers may be the only argyle our son ever owns.

He may not wear them though. The way this kid is kicking..his legs won’t ever need warming.

Gotta go! Don’t forget.  We are less than a week out from the big virtual shower!!!

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Virginia Kerr is a morning news anchor on News 4. You can watch her Monday – Friday from 5AM to 7AM.

*You’re invited to a baby shower for Virginia on Wednesday, August 25. More details.